MOMyself

Jan 5, 2018

MOMyself

It feels like there was the “me” before I had kids and the “me” after. Not only that but after each and every birth of one of my baby girls I totally felt had to find myself all over again.

Having a baby, giving life to a beautiful tiny helpless human and bringing it into this world, and then caring for it 24/7 giving it everything you’ve got is so intense. What that does to your body, you’re mind, to your whole being. It’s all most indescribable. It puts everything upside down and inside out. For a while there the “me” became a “we”. The sense of “self” was scrambled. And all doh after giving birth I turned in to a “me” again… but it doesn’t feel like that at all. That connection to my baby is still there and feels as strong as ever, especially the first 6 months. I am the MOM to someone very special now! And being a mommy is making it impossible for me to remember who I ever was before this little being of mine sprung into life inside my belly. Which by the way, obviously must have rewired this brain of mine in some way. I don’t recognize myself anymore.

And then slowly but surely the dust settles after 7 months or so and I’m starting to get to know myself again. Finally, I can see the new shape of “Myself” again through the new all costuming role of MOM.

And I’m still there! It’s still ME! With the same passions, likes and dislikes, fears, talents, hopes and dreams and everything! But just with a few little extras.

Extra love, extra cuddles, extra responsibility, extra milk, extra patience, priorities and a whole new set of extra hopes and dreams. You’re a MOM but still your Self! And right now I feel like MOMyself!

Recognizing who I am aside from the mom role gives me the strength and clarity to see past the things I want as a mom and gives me the space to feel like an individual And decide what I want to do besides being a mother. Because being a MOM doesn’t mean I can’t have a successful business, be independent, have hobbies, be creative, travel, do sports, feel sexy, powerful, smart, feel like I can do anything I want. Setting an example for my girls! Because I CAN do all that and still be there for my babies almost full time… Even on a working day (3 to 4 days a week) I am with them 18 hours a day! The power of co-sleeping, having a family business, mom/dad equally shared tasks, and working from the home! I want to have it all!

Yes, I am proud to be a mother of 3!
But I am much more than that.

Here is a photo series I did with photographer Wouter Keuris.
So happy I did this shoot with him! We talked a lot about Photography, the wedding-buzz and we had a great time during the shoot! It made me feel like an autonomous person without a baby or kid attached to me for a few hours. I felt like a whole person again, empowered! Not the same as before… but that’s ok. I’ve grown, I’ve learned, I’m getting to know my new MOMyself for the third time. I’m embracing the new me! Never felt so at peace with myself.

Are you a mom? How did you experience that? Did having of having baby’s changed you in some way?

Photography: Wouter Keuris
Retouche: Jolanda Marti

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Recipe for fun!

dec 29, 2017

Recipe for fun!

Read this blog in English

Ever wonder why kids go mad as soon as they come anywhere near sand!? Just dive in there with them and you’ll find out!
Play as if you were 5 years old. Just dive in there with them! Run, jump, dance, kick it, run it through your fingers and yo crazy until you’re totally out of breath. Then fall down laughing and feel the endorphins take over. That’s is why.

That’s exactly what we did on an evening this summer when there was a huge fire in this big waste/plastic-recycling factory in Amsterdam and we had to flee because the black toxic smoke was covering our village. We jumped in our van and just drove away from the smoke-polluted zone. We had no idea where to go so we just headed towards the Dutch coast until we landed on a beautiful dunes area where we could relax and wait until the fire was under control. And we had a blast! We ended up sleeping at my parent’s house because it took a bit longer to put out that big fire over there, but we had a wonderful weekend anyway!

When we came back home the black smoke was gone and it already had rained so that purified the air a bit. We ventilated and cleaned our house thoroughly and no harm was done to our little house and garden. But still so sad to think how much pollution went up in the air during that fire. I hope no one was harmed or breathed too much of that toxic air that weekend.

Anyway, we took a bad situation and turned it around into a beautiful sunny sand-filled day!
The conclusion of this weekend: The best recipe for fun anytime anywhere: Just add some sand!

Lees deze blog ook in het Nederlands ↠ read this blog in Dutch

Ooit afgevraagd waarom kinderen los gaan zodra ze ergens in de buurt van zand komen!? Duik er zelf in met je kinderen en dan snap je waarom! Ren, spring, dans, schop erin, laat het door je vingers glijden en ga helemaal los totdat je compleet buiten adem bent. Val dan lachend neer en voel hoe de endorfines het overnemen. Dit is waarom.

Dat is precies wat we deze zomer deden toen er een enorme brand was in een grote afval / plastic-recyclingfabriek in Amsterdam. We moesten vluchten omdat de zwarte giftige rook ons dorp bedekte. We sprongen in ons busje en reden. We reden gewoon weg van de rookverontreinigde zone, geen idee waar we heen moesten maar het enige wat we wisten is, overal liever dan hier. Dus reden gewoon richting de Nederlandse kust totdat we op een prachtig duingebied landden waar we konden ontspannen en wachten tot het vuur onder controle was. En we hebben een fantastische dag gehad! We sliepen uiteidelijk bij het huis van mijn ouders omdat het wat langer duurde om dat grote vuur daar meester te krijgen. Hoe dan ook hadden toch een geweldig weekend!

Toen we thuiskwamen was de zwarte rook verdwenen en had het al geregend, zodat de lucht een beetje werd gezuiverd. We ventileerden en reinigden ons huis grondig en er was geen schade aangericht aan ons kleine huis en tuin. Toch best triest om te bedenken hoeveel gif en vervuiling de lucht in is gegaan tijdens die brand. Ik hoop dat niemand dat weekend teveel schade of teveel van die giftige lucht heeft ingeademd.

Hoe dan ook, we namen een slechte situatie en veranderden het in een prachtige zonnige dag vol zand en liefde!
De conclusie van dit weekend: Het beste recept voor plezier altijd en overal: Voeg gewoon wat zand toe!

Photography: Michiel Fook & Jolanda Marti