Opinions… Choose: Frozen canals or blazing hot sunshine!?

Opinions matter…and everyone is always having theirs.

 

What’s your opinion on that? What would you choose? What do you think? What would you prefer? Who do you support? 

I’m always inclined to prefer extremes be passionate about really outspoken things and have really clear opinions. I Love SUPER sweet, or SUPER salty… I LOVE the blazing hot summers or the really cold freezing and snowing winter days. I root for the underdog, I think this planet and animals should be protected more, I feel like the first world complains way too much, and I think this world has way too much injustice.

When I love something I tend to go completely overboard. I can get lost in following a series and don’t want to watch anything else for 7 seasons 15 episodes each. When I love a drink or some food I will just drink or eat that thing until I can’t stand in anymore. I LOVE certain trends or fashion, or I think it’s absolutely hideous. I Really Really REEEALLYYY love plants in my home. And everything with natural materials and textures!

“I am an open book… yes you may know my thoughts. But ask me again tomorrow, and I don’t know if the answer will still be the same.”

I know that some of these things are just a matter of taste or opinion, and some a matter of “right or wrong” and some a matter of perspective, knowledge or information.
I am an open book… yes you may know my thoughts. But ask me again tomorrow, and I don’t know if the answer will still be the same.

I can switch my opinions and preferences or how I feel about something just like that. Because a preference or opinion isn’t like a birthmark… you aren’t born with opinions or preferences. Nothing is set in stone, once you’ve developed an opinion about something, It’s not a lifelong decision. I’m allowed to change my opinions or preferences.

It feels like some people make us feel like your opinion is supposed to be cour identity. The essence of who we truly are. Making it shameful, weak or event tradeful to change our opinions, to change our minds, to evolve. But most of the time those preferences and opinions are dependent on your knowledge. So if you are a stubborn person who clenches on to his opinion or preferences despite new information that might prove you otherwise… well that isn’t a very wise thing to do, isn’t it!? I feel that that is just bitter, stubborn, proud, and short-sided. Maybe even a lack of intelligence maybe!? I’m not sure… but It feels wrong to me.

A lot of the times an opinion is also a judgment on someone’s address… like I just did back there:
“I feel that that is just bitter, stubborn, proud, and short-sided. Maybe even a lack of intelligence maybe!? I’m not sure… but It feels wrong to me.” That’s not a nice thing to hear if you feel it applies to you. But it is the truth about what I was thinking while typing this.
So should you always share your opinions!? Probably only if someone is asking you directly or if you think it’s really important to share it because it is something people just NEED to hear. Even if they maybe won’t like it. And you never know, if you might even hear some new information or gain a new perspective that will change your mind if you are open to it and flexible enough.

“I prefer to say “I don’t know” Because I just don’t know how I feel about it.”

In some cases on some topics, I prefer to say “I don’t know” Because I just don’t know how I feel about it. Because I don’t have enough Information or I need more time to process the incoming data. Knot knowing is ok too. It’s a nice place to stay and just observe.
Mostly on things like a new song or new fruit gets me confused, and I need to taste or hear it more times to “get to know” all the different details in texture and rhythms and flavors happening. Of some things that are happening in the world… sometimes I just decide, I don’t know what is true or false anymore, I Just don’t know what to think or feel. and it all will make me feel powerless angry and depressed. I don’t have to save the world. Let’s make it a better place one little bit of the time.

So I never feel guilty about changing opinions or preferences. Next step is to not feeling guilty sometimes about being happy and privileged to be living somewhere where my kids can be safe and grow up being happy, while others in the world are not! I Just wish Everyone in this world would be safe. And that’s something I Find hard to accept.

“I will be shouting on the top of my lungs:  “THIS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR”.”

So I’m going to enjoy the winter days and hoping for snow and frozen lakes and channels. If my prayers get answered I’m going to shout on the top of my lungs:  “THIS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR”
And a few months later I will be hoping for hot sunshiney days and when it comes I will be shouting on the top of my lungs:  “THIS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR”.

And it all will be the truth because I will mean it every single time!

Blog by: Jolanda Marti
Photography: Michiel Fook

Opinions… Choose: Frozen canals or blazing hot sunshine!?

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The educational system and us

This girl is a dreamer. Always with her head in the clouds and living in her own reality.
Sometimes if you carefully watch you can see it in her eyes. That moment… Her checking out of our reality and stepping into her own. And I love that about her.
In class, she has trouble concentrating on what the teacher has to say and I totally get that… What she has to say is probably totally boring to her anyway.

I look at her and I see Myself as a 7-year-old. I was just like her, and I had a terrible time learning in school! I didn’t see the point in some skills I needed to learn and I heavily resisted and resented the whole learning concept. Not because I couldn’t… but just because I wouldn’t. It was BORING!!!

Soi got a big old stamp “not too bright” “disobedient” and “lacking concentration and focus”.
What the reality was… I was just bored, totally not interested in the knowledge they offered me, and full of imagination, curiosity and creativity. Things like different cultures, nature, history, philosophy, music, and arts were my favorites in the early years.
Later came reading and writing. And only when I got much older I started liking mathematics.
The thing with me is, when I get interested in a subject, I’m a sponge! I learn really fast. I actually get a bit obsessive on it for a while until I have it down. And I just know, Miley is exactly the same!

It frustrates me that in the educational system here in Holland there is so little room for kids who are more creative and less focused on the structure and routines other people live by. I see a happy little kid, but I also see a frustrated teacher. Who would like to see her “try harder to focus”.
And to be honest, I’m ok with her not learning certain things… I think she excels in other things. I prefer to feed and explore those talents than push for something that she isn’t interested in.

After this summer all her friends are going to the next level. I think she will too, but I’m not 100% sure. And that makes me sad, because she really wants to stay with them. So I have my fingers crossed… But if they are making her repeat this year I’m switching to another school with her. A school where she can develop on her own terms. And in Holland… Those schools aren’t cheap. But I think they are leaving us little choice.

By the way, homeschooling isn’t legal in Holland. And if it was we would definitely go for an “unschooling” approach. Combined with activities to interact with friends and finding the necessary professional support for the ability’s she is ready and willing to learn at her own request whenever needed.

But, that being said… she LOVES this school so much! And she definitely doesn’t want to switch schools.
So I hope they will be able to be flexible and adapt to her needs.

I will not let the right educational system her damage her upcoming years as I know the pressure to excel on the kids will be build up. There will be tests, she will be pushed for those levels to be reached. And I don’t like it one bit.
Keeping my eye on this.

In the meantime, she is one dreaming, happy, playful, curious, beautiful little girl with a healthy positive self-image.
And I will make sure that stay’s that way!

Anny other parents struggling with the same out there!?

 

 

The educational system and us

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Viral infections for everyone!

Yes, It’s online! Our First Monthly overview vlog! Watch here our January 2018 where we watched the fireworks over Amsterdam from a distance, Lots and Lots of Babywearing, After dinner madness moments, all 3 kids got sick like domino’s, Snot, Viral infections for everyone, And of course, lot’s more!

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Viral infections for everyone!

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Watching them grow up… and I wonder…

Here a video about how I’m watching my kids grow up, and wonder… what will this life have in store for you? Worries, hopes, dreams, happiness. All I know is, I will be there and love them forever! It amazes me how valuable you become as a parent! Everything that happens to your kid happens to you! All the good and the bad. Loving your kid more than your own life! That is the most powerful love and connection there is.

What do you see when you look at your kids play? Do you ever wonder how they will become as adults?
No matter what, they will always be my baby’s! Take a look this new video and feel free to leave a message!

Videography: Jolanda Marti

Watching them grow up… and I wonder…

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10 ways to fight off the “Blue monday” blues!

10 ways to fight off the “Blue monday” blues!

The days are short, no Christmas or new years eve to look forward to, it all went by so fast and all your left with are some extra pounds!  The weather isn’t really making your day, most of the new year’s resolutions are already out the window… which makes you feel shit about yourself. So much to do and it feels like the summer is so, so far away! And you just feel so extremely tired and unmotivated and just maybe a little down.

Well, maybe you have a mild case of a little winter depression. Don’t worry, it won’t last that long.
The most depressing day this year is tomorrow! (January 15)
But here’s the upside: If thats the low-point, it’s all up from there! This year is only getting better from tomorrow on!
So YAY to that!

But first surviving the low-point, Blue Monday coming up!
Michiel and me went out to get some quality time together with coffee and conversations at Coffee & Cacao in Monnickendam!

Get ready to fight the blues with us! These are my 10 tips to cheer up your spirit upcoming weeks!

About the BLUE MONDAY
Blue Monday is a name given to a day in January (typically the third Monday of the month) claimed to be the most depressing day of the year. This date was picked taking many factors into consideration, including weather conditions, shorter daytime, debt level (the difference between debt accumulated and our ability to pay), time since Christmas, time since failing our new year’s resolutions, low motivational levels and feeling of a need to take action.

Blue Monday this year (2018)
is on January 15.

Photography: Michiel Fook & Jolanda Marti
Location: Coffee & Cacao   Monnickendam, the Netherlands

1- Meet friends

Chill out with your friends, talk to them, have a drink, compare stories, talk about the fun stuff like:  vacation plans, remodeling the house plans, getting a puppy and all other exciting things/hopes/dreams/plans coming up. And talk about the less fun stuff like things that are going bad, negative feelings, and problems. A friend can help you put things in perspective and can help you think of a way to make it better. But at the least, you can get things off your chest and gives you a moment to vent! And that in itself tends to help a lot to make you feel better!

Have a drink, eat, talk, laugh, cry and toast to an amazing year to come!

2- Spa Sauna day

That tension will just fall right off your back in a few hours of pampering and warm temperatures!
You deserve this! After all those months of hard work, you are allowed to treat yourself!

This is the best time to reload, just when you need it the most!
So if you could afford to go to a spa at least once a year, this would be the perfect time to plan it in.
This way your visit to the spa will have maximum effect. I’m sure it will make you feel so relaxed, inspired and positive so that you’ll be able to get back in the ring and hit the ground running on whatever challenges are lying ahead upcoming months!

3-(‎Bring the kids to grandma and) Go on a date!

For all the childless people: Get off the couch and go do something FUN!!! That’s your excuse!? Go NOW! Have fun! Or if you’re tired of that stuff: Pick up your little neeses and nephews (you will make their parent’s day) and skip to point 3 of this list!

For all the parents: Yayyyy we are going to grandma and grandpa Kids!!! Sleepover! So Exiting! The kids will be over the moon!
And we are too! What would we do without our social safety net, our parents, our friends, our family! So grateful to have them in our lives! And don’t be afraid to ask for a bit of help when you really need it! We parents often go on and on way too long before breaking down… Look after yourselves and your relationship, take the time to talk to each other. Especially with 2+ kids, you will need a break from being a parent sometimes to be a partner instead, give each other your undivided attention.

We love our kids to pieces, but there are things we miss doing together. Before there where kids, it was just us two. And you had the time to do things without entertaining a kid or you could plan a day out with all fun grownup things!
Remember the last time you could just sit at a table for two and enjoy a cup of coffee and a conversation, followed by a visit to a museum? Or go out to dinner and watch a movie after? Or… whatever you would like to without having to worry of whatever your mini is doing… But just for a little moment just be the two of you again.

And guess what!? After a few hours, you’ll see! You will miss them! And when you go and pick them up, you will have the energy to be more fun and patient parent for weeks to come!

 

4-‎ Bake cookies a cake or something else!

Yes! Nothing gives the house that cozy warm happy feel to it than the smell of fresh baked cookies or big delicious apple pie!
This is also amazing to do with your kids. Its fun to do when you’re making it… it smells amazing when your backing it and it makes everyone happy when you’re eating it! Yay! (writing this makes me hungry)

5-Movie Night!

Do a Netflix movie night at home with blankets, homemade popcorn and hot coco!
If you’re going to be a couch potato… be a proper couch potato like a pro! Make things as decadent and comfortable as possible!
Turn that couch into Movie watching heaven! Wait until the kids are asleep and Watch at least 2 movies with your favorite (healthy) snacks!

6-Go outside!!!

Put on your warmest coat and go outside! Take a walk in the park or go on a hike through nature! I know its tempting to stay indoors under a cozy blanket, but going outside will give your body and mind the chance to reload, get some movement, breath some fresh air and get some of that vitamin D in your system!

A walk outside may just give you that little extra energy and positivity to get other stuff going that will get you back on a positive track again!

7- Go swimming!

Yes, you heard me! even doh its cold outside! Especially with the kids! Go and make some swimming bags, put on your swimsuit and go to an indoor tropical swim-paradise! Just use that imagination and act like you’re on a tropical island adventure! Play, jump, have fun! And be in the moment! when you’re back home everyone will get all fuzzy and tired and everyone will sleep like a rose that night! On behalf of your kids, can i just say… Best-Day-Ever!  And happy kids = happy parents!

8- Get creative!

We love to watch our favorite tv series or watch a movie, but a few times a week we leave the tv off, put on some nice music, pour ourselves a drink and just get creative! We do or create whatever we feel like. Like a nice and relaxed art-jam. Most of the times its just the two of us, but over the years we have organized a few art-jam-nights with friends so we can be creative and inspire each other. Being creative is such a wide concept, it could be a drawing, painting, writing, brainstorming on some ideas in a notebook, making new clothes, doing something with your interior, it can be a small project or a big one, and if I could, I would love to make music. (something that’s definitely on my bucket list) but I don’t have those skills yet, so we just keep it at just listening to music for now!

Being creative is great for stress relief. Everyone is talented in some way or another! The problem is that people tend to stress on the fact that whatever they are creating should be “good enough” and that is such a big roadblock. Art cant be wrong, as long as you enjoy making it! Don’t be so hard on yourself and try to have fun!

9- Take care of your health!

Yes I know you’re tired and feeling like eating junk food on the coutch, and that is’n the end of the world. But try and balance that out with lots of delicious fresh fruits and veggies! Combine that with a nice workout or a yoga session and you will definitely feel better and energized with and get all those nice endorphins flowing! That way it’s okay to relax and chill out and eat cookies on some other nights and you get the best of both worlds. Having those two in balance will make all the difference. No extreme health and workout regimes or extreme couch potato-laziness (and all the guilt and tiredness that come with that).

Finding the right balance is hard in the dark winter days after all the holidays already far behind us and still a lot of winter days to go.
But a little bit of movement and extra vitamins will give you the kickstart you need to get up and smile again.

10- Bring some green into the house.

Most of the trees outside have lost their leaves months ago and it will still take a few months for the new fresh leaves to grow back.
Plants are air purifiers. They help remove dangerous compounds from fuels, furnishings, and clothing. They help you feel healthy, happy and fights depression! It also makes you focus better, brings out your creativity and calms you!

So go and get yourself some plant-babies!
Tip: look for palms if you’re looking for some low-maintenance greens in your home!

 

So tell us!? Have you got a bad case of the Blue Monday Blues?
Do you have additional tips? Leave us your experiences in the comments!

x Jolanda

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