self-care guide for mothers

Yes, you are a mom.
Yes, you are a partner to your other half.
Yes, you are a career woman
Yes, you are the woman of the house…
But YOUR “ME” needs to be taken care of too. That girl without kids, without stress and so many balls in the air… She is still in there! And she needs your love and attention!

Most moms put their family’s health before their own.  And I am such a mom on occasion. Self-sacrifice is a natural parenting/mom thing that happens instinctively. But Putting Your Family ALLWAYS First at expense of yourself Doesn’t Make You a Better Mom. Actually… It will make you a tired, grumpy, exhausted and stressed mother if you neglect yourself for a longer period. 

We as moms (have to) take on so many tasks, so many roles, so many faces, so many responsibilities that we tend to bury ourselves in it and carry on way too long.

And we can take a lot. We are strong woman, and we can carry on for a long time. But we all have our limits. so before hitting a wall and end us completely exhausted and burned up. Maybe try and find, no, MAKE space for your needs. so you can be the best mom they deserve! A lot of the times the other partner/parent does succeed in taking care of themselves. And that’s wonderful! Take note. Now you!

Some misbelieves that may hold you down:

  • You are NOT selfish for taking care of your mental needs first once in a while.
  • The world won’t crash and burn if you leave others with some responsibilities for a few hours.
  • It does’n have to cost a lot of money.
  • It doesnt have to cost a lot of time.
  • Self-care is not an indulgence, its necessity to stay balanced!
  • You are not neglecting your kids or work. You are actually taking up the responsibility for your own helath!

What is self-care?
The better question is: What is self-care to YOU? All the little things you do that will take your stress away, give you a more emotionally balanced, centered feeling and generally makes you feel happier and give you a more positive outlook on life will count as Self-care.

What makes you happy that you do just for YOU!?
Take a pen and paper and write down what kind of little fun of relaxing activities you would like to do if you had no responsibilities or stress in the world? (maybe even think back to the time you didn’t have children) There is no right or wrong answer here. Are there little things that need to be resolved that are bugging you? make a list. write down what you need to do to take care of your needs.

For some that may be taking a long hot bath and read a book or listen to music.
For others It would be doing Sports, Yoga, painting, or meeting up with your friends and talk, going on a date with your partner, sauna, massage, swimming, writing in a journal, painting your nails! Or maybe all the above! Whatever you can think of that will make you happy, that will make you re-charge. That will get you to exhale for a few seconds and stop rushing.

For moms of tiny little babies making time for self-care will mean relaxing while having your baby near you but in the care of another person. That way you will be “able” to relax without feeling anxious about leaving your baby or checking your phone every 3 minutes.
Never let anyone tell you “you need to be away from your baby to relax” if you feel in your heart and stomach that you just don’t want to leave him/her.

 

It is hard to create space for self-care as a mom

How to find/create the time

  • The little things
    Small little routines like journaling before going to sleep or cooking a fresh meal in peace. Making up your bed every day.
  • Ask for help.
    What do you need to make it happen? A lot of the times someone will need to take care of the kids for a little while! Your partner will need to pitch in! The other parent in your family can hold the fort while you exhale for a couple of hours. For single parents (SO much respect) that will mean you will have to look for help elsewhere. Your Parents, friends, neighbors, parents of your kid’s friends, anyone you may trust and dare to ask for help! Please, people may surprise you! Lovely mama…Take a deep breath… and just. ask. for. help.
  • Reserve a date and time
    Block a space in your agenda for your self-care moment… now block the 2 hours before that time as a buffer. Better yet, plan at least one moment every week as me-time! It will become easier if this turns in to a little weekly/bi-weekly routine.
  • No Bailing on yourself!
    Take away your biggest stress factors, distractions & excuses to bail on yourself in advanced. Make sure that whatever happens. you will take time for yourself!
    Clear the road!
  • Pick it up again!
    And if you fail to take the time for yourself anyway… no worries! Don’t stress about it. That’s actually the very thing we want to prevent! Life happens. Kids can get sick, plans can change. I fail at it all the time! Whatever. The important thing to remember is… just pick it up again as soon as possible. Re-schedule. You deserve to be happy! And your family deserves a happy mom! You matter!

Set the right example!

Want the best for your kids… And how would you like your kids treating themselves as adults later in life!? Lead by example! By showing them that self-care is an important part of life and demonstrating that we all should help each other create space for individual needs they will learn how to take care of themselves and others in a balanced way later in life. And be happier people for it.

 

Love,
Jolanda, Michiel
Miley, Haley & Quinn

33 Self care inspiration list ideas

  1. Go to yoga class once a week
  2. Take 40 minutes every day to journal and reflect.
  3. Go and have lunch with your best friend!
  4. Take a hot long bath and read a book every week!
  5. Take a nap without an alarm clock
  6. take a walk through nature
  7. Craft something
  8. Go swim for fun
  9. Make art
  10. Sing and Dance like nobody is watching!
  11. Go online and learn a new skill using tutorials!
  12. Listen to a podcast
  13. Go to the gym
  14. De-clutter and re-organise your wardrobe or beauty products
  15. Unplug from social media for a day (or at least a few hours).
  16. Go to the spa
  17. Feeling overwhelmed? Create a plan to create order in the chaos! Start with all the small things so the list gets shorter. Then order the tasks from most-pressing to least-pressing.
  18. Pick flowers
  19. Bake something
  20. Cook something delicious 
  21. Learn 4-8-7 breathing
  22. do some mindfulness exersizes
  23. Write down your life goals and dreams and create an inspirational collage to hang on the toilet! (“toilet” a.k.a. safe space for moms…the only place you can run to for some peace and quiet when the kids are around)Get a massage.
  24. Go hiking, camping, or backpacking and spend some time in nature
  25. Go S.U.B-ing (stand up paddle)
  26. Go on a date with your partner
  27. Sleep in
  28. Do some gardening
  29. Take care of your houseplants.
  30. Restyle a room in the house! Change some pillows rugs, blankets, wallhangings and plants. A little bit of styling can make a big change! (search on Instagram or pintrest for inspiration)
  31. Meditate
  32. Spend 1 on 1 time with one of your kids for some quality time!
  33. Plann your next vacation!

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