Processing the World Through Art: How Neurodivergent Minds Find Order in Chaos

Processing the World Through Art: How Neurodivergent Minds Find Order in Chaos

Living with Autism and ADHD means living with a brain that doesn’t filter the world the way most do. Every sound, every flicker of light, every shifting facial expression—nothing slips past unnoticed. Add to that an endless web of associations firing at lightning speed, and daily life becomes an experience of relentless intensity.

From the outside, it may look like I am “just sitting there,” but inside, my brain is working at the speed of a supercomputer. It processes everything, all the time, in layers.

Thinking in layers

My thoughts are not linear. They exist in stacked dimensions:

  • Task Layer: What I’m actively doing—speaking, typing, cooking.
  • Analytical Layer: Making sense of patterns, weaving information into a web.

  • Environmental Layer: Processing every sound, smell, and visual cue around me.

  • Sensory Layer: Vivid 5K images, sounds, and feelings.

  • Emotional Layer: Tracking my emotions, and yours.

  • Self-Reflection Layer: An inner dialogue between critic, cheerleader, and philosopher.

  • Earworm Layer: A song looping for days.

Most people operate with one or two of these layers at once. I live with all of them active—constantly. It is beautiful, but it is also exhausting.

When hyperfocus hits

Then there are moments of hyperfocus, when all the layers condense into one. Suddenly the chaos becomes order. My attention sharpens into a laser beam, and I disappear into learning, absorbing, creating. Hours vanish. I forget food, water, even the bathroom. Interrupt me and you’ll feel my irritation. But when I resurface, it feels like touching ground after flying at supersonic speed.

This is the paradox: my brain can either be everywhere at once or nowhere but here.

The cost of overstimulation

This layered, high-speed processing comes with a cost: energy depletion. Even joyful events—birthdays, concerts, family outings—can leave me with what feels like a hangover. Not because the event was bad, but because my brain has burned through every reserve.

When the energy bank is empty, even simple actions like getting up for a glass of water feel impossible. This is not laziness. It’s neurological bankruptcy. And when I push through, I borrow energy from tomorrow, leading to days of collapse.

Why art is survival

In the midst of all this, art is not optional. It is how I process, organize, and release the overwhelming flood of stimuli.

When I paint, photograph, or work in mixed media, I am taking the chaotic web of sensory data and giving it form. Through art I find:

  • Structure: Patterns and logic in the noise.
  • Reason: A way to make sense of relentless thought.
  • Perspective: Distance from what overwhelms me.
  • Relief: A place to rest my brain.
  • Expression: A window into my inner world for others to glimpse.

Without art, the layers remain tangled. With art, I untangle them—thread by thread, color by color, image by image.

The science of creativity and regulation

Neuroscience confirms what I’ve lived: autistic and ADHD brains often process stimuli with less filtering, which means more detail but also more exhaustion. Art therapy has been shown to regulate emotions, process trauma, and help the brain “file” experiences in ways words cannot.

For neurodivergent people, creativity isn’t just self-expression. It’s nervous system regulation. It’s medicine.

Conclusion

My art is not a hobby. It is a survival strategy. A necessity. It transforms overstimulation into beauty, chaos into order, exhaustion into expression.

I don’t create to be productive. I create to live.

Unmasking, Social Scripts, Eye Contact & the Villain Era of Self-Preservation

Unmasking, Social Scripts, Eye Contact & the Villain Era of Self-Preservation

, “Wow, but you make such good eye contact, you can’t be autistic!”
…Sure, Sharon. Because what you don’t see is the silent dance happening in my head: 2…3…4 look away. Smile. Nod. Back to eyes. Don’t stare too long. Don’t look at the mouth. Did they just frown? Was that sarcasm? Keep the rhythm.

For neurodivergent people, social interaction isn’t just “natural.” It’s an algorithm.

The Choreography of Eye Contact

Every conversation is a balancing act. Too much eye contact? Intense. Too little? Cold. Too long at someone’s mouth? Flirty. Too distracted? Disconnected. It’s exhausting. What looks like “instinct” for others, I run like software in the background of my brain, while simultaneously analyzing tone, microexpressions, body language, and context.

It’s not just about eyes. It’s about decoding, predicting, and managing connections in real-time.

The Energy Cost

People often think “social battery” means you get tired gradually. For me, it feels more like an implosion. The download of information keeps running long after the conversation ends. Sometimes, an hour later, I’ll suddenly get a flash: oh… that was sarcasm. Or: wait, were they upset?

Masking, forcing myself to keep the choreography perfect, multiplies the cost. It leaves me drained, second-guessing, and sometimes spiraling into self-doubt.

 When Masking Breaks

Here’s the paradox: the only times eye contact feels easy are when I’m deeply interested. Then the mask falls away, and I slip into hyperfocus. The result? Either intense, unblinking eye contact that makes others squirm, or none at all, because I’m lost in words. Cue the “verbal diarrhea.” Both confuse people. Both are authentic.

The Misreads

My focus on facial details can backfire. Sometimes I get mistaken for flirting when I’m simply overanalyzing expressions. Other times, genuine flirting goes right over my head because I logged it as “friendly.” These misfires aren’t carelessness; they’re the brain juggling too many layers of input at once.

And honestly?
“I’m probably not flirting, it’s just the ’tism.”

What feels like deep interest and focus to me can easily be read as romantic or suggestive. Long, unbroken eye contact. Fixating on someone’s smile. Mirroring their expressions. To me, it’s data collection, connection, or genuine enthusiasm. To the other person, it can look like an attraction.

On the flip side, when someone really is flirting with me, I often don’t notice, because I’m too busy running my inner choreography: keep the rhythm, decode tone, manage my own body language. By the time I realize, the moment has usually passed.

This double-bind is something many neurodivergent people recognize: being misunderstood socially, even when your intention is simply connection, not seduction.

Learning to Unmask

The truth? I actually like people. I enjoy connection, deep conversations, and shared laughter. But to survive socially, I’ve often over “masked” suppressing quirks, running the full choreography, and pushing myself past my own limits.

Now, I’m learning to loosen my grip. Sometimes I’ll hold eye contact too long. Sometimes I’ll avoid it. Sometimes I’ll ask 101 clarifying questions. Sometimes I’ll choose silence and headphones instead of small talk. If masking takes too much energy, I will think: Adapting or explaining myself is too much work, please just judge me if you must. 

And that’s okay. Because the people who truly matter, the ones I want close, don’t need the mask. They accept the quirks, the glitches, the intensity.

Tips (short & simple):

  • Notice your own limits. When you’re masking too hard, pause.

     

  • Let go of “perfect” eye contact. Authentic beats choreography.

     

  • Protect your energy: you don’t owe everyone full access to you.

     

  • Remember: unmasking filters out the wrong people and draws in the right ones.

     

villain era

Unmasking sometimes feels like my villain era, like I’m being mean by not accommodating others to be more palatable, but honestly? Unmasking is freedom. If that makes me “strange” in the eyes of some… so be it.

My energy, my rules.

Voor we heerlijk wegkruipen in onze Winterslaap modus [+Podcast #01]

Voor we heerlijk wegkruipen in onze Winterslaap modus

 

Seizoenen

De lente voelt alsof je plotseling omhoog springt en een lange aanloop neemt voordat je een diepe duik maakt vol verwachting in de warme en wilde zomerdagen. Spetterend om je heen in de zonnestralen, rennen, springen van pure vreugde en speelsheid! Tot we buiten adem zijn. Compleet tevreden en herladen en we ons laten zinken in de naderende gezelligheid … frisse lucht, vallende bladeren, regendruppels op ons vensterglas. De meest verbazingwekkende kleuren en we zijn klaar om los te laten, naar binnen te duiken en ons gekoesterd en veilig te voelen.Gezellig bij warme, zachte dekens, warme chocolademelk, sneeuwvlokken die onze huid raken, vlammen dansen in de haard. De winter is onze cocon. En we overwinteren. Voordat de geur van de lente ons weer wakker maakt en we omhoog springen …

Voor de Winterslaap

We zorgen ervoor dat we genieten van de laatste warme zonnestralen en absorberen het allemaal op. We brachten onze warme vesten en een picknick met ons mee.

Springen, klimmen en spelen in het bos. Het herinnerde me aan de tijd dat we een paar maanden geleden gingen picknicken. We stonden aan het begin van het “buiten” seizoen, we wisten niet wat de zomer zou brengen, en nu kijken we terug op een geweldige lente en zomer en maken we ons op voor de “koude en gezellige” dagen. In het voorjaar zag het hele bos er anders uit, rook het anders, voelde het anders aan toen onze voeten de grond raakten. Dit jaar is het de eerste keer dat we ‘Minimal’ schoenen dragen en het heeft onze loopervaring voor altijd veranderd. Er is geen weg terug. En rennen en springen door het bos is het fijnst op onze minimal schoenen van Wildling!

Next up: Winter

We zijn er klaar voor! kom maar op met de ijzige temperaturen en warme truien!

In de tussentijd zullen we een nieuwe “Groene” houtkachel in ons huis installeren om warm te blijven, en misschien een beetje een huis renovatie op onze begane grond doen dit najaar. We houden je op de hoogte!

Love,
Jolanda, Michiel
Miley, Haley & Quinn

    We love Wildling shoes

    Wildling shoes  hebben ons hele gezin uitgerust met hun ‘Minimal’ wintercollectie schoenen en we zijn er dol op!

    Het heerlijke gevoel om op blote voeten door het bos te rennen en te klimmen terwijl je veilig bent tegen ruwe ondergronds en scherpe voorwerpen is geweldig!

    Terwijl je op blote voeten of met Minimale schoenen, het voelt niet alleen geweldig. Het is eigenlijk ook echt gezond! De reden waarom is hier heel goed uitgelegd door:

    1- Linde Logtenberg op haar Instagram hier!

    2- of in deze video door Teck Insider

    We willen onze partner Wildling bedanken voor het ondersteunen van ons blog. Onze partners maken het mogelijk voor ons om onze video’s, vlogs en blogs kunnen blijven produceren. Vanwege dit soort samenwerkingsverbanden kunnen we doen waar we het meest van houden:  Creatief zijn en onze verhalen, kennis en afbeeldingen met jullie delen!

    bekijk alle andere foto’s uit deze serie:

    [PILOT] PODCAST #01 Voor we in Winterslaap modus gaan...

    by Jolanda Marti | Wild & BOHO - podcast

    PRAAT MEE!        –     Join the conversation:

    Share this blog post

    [supsystic-social-sharing id='1']
    TAGS:
    [st-tag-cloud]

    You might also like to read:

    [related-posts-thumbnails]

    Middle child

    Middle child

     

    Je bent te klein om te doen wat je grote zus kan.
    Te groot om dingen te doen waar je kleine zusje mee weg komt.
    Je bent niet de grote zus.
    Je bent niet de kleine zus.
    Ergens daar tussenin zit je…

    Maar in jouw ogen ben je een GROTE zus en een KLEINE zus in één.Eigenlijk. Je hebt alles!

    Het is niet altijd gemakkelijk om het middelste kind te zijn. Maar toch, je staat vaak in het middelpunt van de belangstelling. Je glas is niet halfvol… het stroomt over! Ze zeggen vaak dat het middelste kind gemakkelijk vergeten wordt. Nou… laten we zeggen dat dat nooit zal gebeuren met onze Haley. Wacht maar af, ze zal het eisen. En lief kind… je verdient alle aandacht die je nodig hebt, mijn liefde.

    Een sterke wil, avonturen, nieuwsgierig, assertief, slim, grappig, direct, sterk, eerlijk, observatief, en zo zo lief. Het lijkt erop dat jou andere twee zussen van een andere planeet kwamen, gesneden uit hetzelfde hout, hetzelfde temperament, hetzelfde basispatroon, maar jij kwam uit een heel eigen universum.

    Er is geen saai moment met jou klein drakenmeisje. Je stopt nooit met bewegen, klimmen, reiken naar de meest gevaarlijke (en daarom meest interessante) objecten, stoelen op tafels en boeken opstapelen om hoger te komen, nooit bang en snel… oh wat ben je zo ongelooflijk snel. Ik knipper met mijn ogen en je loopt om een ​​hoek om, lachend, kijkend over je schouder om te zien of je wordt gevolgd. De vastberadenheid in alles wat jij doet. Ik geloof dat je alles zal kunnen bereiken waar je je zinnen op zet. Slim, lief, sterk, gepassioneerd, fel, athletisch, energiek, gek, explosief, grappig, stralend en mooi meisje van mama. Je zult zal opgemerkt worden.

    Over dat spelletje dat we spelen, waar we allebei beweren meer van de ander te houden:
    Mijn klein baby meisje, ik hou meer van je dan je ooit zou kunnen begrijpen! Misschien realiseer je je wanneer je op een dag zelf baby’s krijgt… Ik win… Ik hou VEEL meer van JOU! En dat hoort ook zo. 

    Liefs,
    Jolanda, Michiel
    Miley, Haley & Quinn

    Middle child

    TAGS:
    [st-tag-cloud]

    COMMENTS:

    You might also like to read:

    [related-posts-thumbnails]

    Chopping wood is Therapeutic

    let them express their inner Rugged bearded man!

     

    Chopping wood, Therapeutic for him. That’s what I would call it…

    During the lunch break, or after dinner, Michiel loves to get outside and shop some wood. Rain or shine, Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter! He is out there chopping his logs in to big chunks of lumber for the fire.

    And to be honest, there can never be to much lumber.
    During the spring, summer, and fall we make nice campfires in our backyard.
    And we are looking for a nice stove to keep us warm and cozy during winter months!

     

    “It’s in our DNA as humans. There is a fascination with creating fire with most men.”

     I guess it’s a primal thing, making lumber to keep fires going has been a ritual for thousands of years.  It’s in our DNA as humans. There is a fascination with creating fire with most men. At least, that’s what I’m seeing.

    Look at the neighborhood barbecue… Where are the men? Where the fire is! Haha, a little bunch of pyromaniacs with their beer in hand poking the fire.

    So I say… let them chop wood. It’s good for the soul. Letting them follow that primal instinct, letting out all their negative energy and frustration on the logs.
    Letting them be wild instinct-driven bushcraft motherfuckers! They are providing wood. Providing warmth. Providing protection from the cold. Providing the fire which we all can gather around.  Hear him roar! My strong man. Gosh, o’ my! Look at him being all provide-dy and stuff! Suddenly I forget I’m an independent woman who can chop her own wood just fine. I bet he would catch me whenever I would faint. Oh wait, he actually did once when I was pregnant! See!? My strong wood chopping for-family-providing-and-protecting man!

     

    “a genius guide that can lead any aspiring Burschcraft motherfucker in the right direction!”

     

    So, whenever he gets grumpy… tell him to go out and chop some wood. Youll see. He’ll come back a whole other man. 😉 Thank you Weltevree for gearing us up with this fresh and sharp new blade for Michiel to get his chopping on! And we are so happy with this Dutch guide that publishing agency SNOR sent to us, it’s a genius guide that can lead any aspiring Burschcraft motherfucker in the right direction! (brilliant fathers day tip for all the dutchies)

    Ladies! Do you send your men out to do some chopping and de-stress!?
    Or is it just me?

    Blog by: Jolanda Marti
    Photography: Jolanda Marti & Michiel Fook

    “man of the house” MUST HAVES

    In this insta-proof flatlay, we laid everything out for you. All the must-haves to make him feel like the ultimate survival backyard bushcraft badass.

    from left to right – top to bottom:

    Follow Michiel on Instagram!

    Our story from his point of view! More guy stuff and how to be a badass dad to 3 badass girls!

    Share this blog post

    [supsystic-social-sharing id='1']

    Chopping wood is Therapeutic

    TAGS:
    [st-tag-cloud]

    COMMENTS:

    You might also like to read:

    [related-posts-thumbnails]