Voor we heerlijk wegkruipen in onze Winterslaap modus [+Podcast #01]

okt 17, 2019

Voor we heerlijk wegkruipen in onze Winterslaap modus

 

Seizoenen

De lente voelt alsof je plotseling omhoog springt en een lange aanloop neemt voordat je een diepe duik maakt vol verwachting in de warme en wilde zomerdagen. Spetterend om je heen in de zonnestralen, rennen, springen van pure vreugde en speelsheid! Tot we buiten adem zijn. Compleet tevreden en herladen en we ons laten zinken in de naderende gezelligheid … frisse lucht, vallende bladeren, regendruppels op ons vensterglas. De meest verbazingwekkende kleuren en we zijn klaar om los te laten, naar binnen te duiken en ons gekoesterd en veilig te voelen.Gezellig bij warme, zachte dekens, warme chocolademelk, sneeuwvlokken die onze huid raken, vlammen dansen in de haard. De winter is onze cocon. En we overwinteren. Voordat de geur van de lente ons weer wakker maakt en we omhoog springen …

Voor de Winterslaap

We zorgen ervoor dat we genieten van de laatste warme zonnestralen en absorberen het allemaal op. We brachten onze warme vesten en een picknick met ons mee.

Springen, klimmen en spelen in het bos. Het herinnerde me aan de tijd dat we een paar maanden geleden gingen picknicken. We stonden aan het begin van het “buiten” seizoen, we wisten niet wat de zomer zou brengen, en nu kijken we terug op een geweldige lente en zomer en maken we ons op voor de “koude en gezellige” dagen. In het voorjaar zag het hele bos er anders uit, rook het anders, voelde het anders aan toen onze voeten de grond raakten. Dit jaar is het de eerste keer dat we ‘Minimal’ schoenen dragen en het heeft onze loopervaring voor altijd veranderd. Er is geen weg terug. En rennen en springen door het bos is het fijnst op onze minimal schoenen van Wildling!

Next up: Winter

We zijn er klaar voor! kom maar op met de ijzige temperaturen en warme truien!

In de tussentijd zullen we een nieuwe “Groene” houtkachel in ons huis installeren om warm te blijven, en misschien een beetje een huis renovatie op onze begane grond doen dit najaar. We houden je op de hoogte!

Love,
Jolanda, Michiel
Miley, Haley & Quinn

    We love Wildling shoes

    Wildling shoes  hebben ons hele gezin uitgerust met hun ‘Minimal’ wintercollectie schoenen en we zijn er dol op!

    Het heerlijke gevoel om op blote voeten door het bos te rennen en te klimmen terwijl je veilig bent tegen ruwe ondergronds en scherpe voorwerpen is geweldig!

    Terwijl je op blote voeten of met Minimale schoenen, het voelt niet alleen geweldig. Het is eigenlijk ook echt gezond! De reden waarom is hier heel goed uitgelegd door:

    1- Linde Logtenberg op haar Instagram hier!

    2- of in deze video door Teck Insider

    We willen onze partner Wildling bedanken voor het ondersteunen van ons blog. Onze partners maken het mogelijk voor ons om onze video’s, vlogs en blogs kunnen blijven produceren. Vanwege dit soort samenwerkingsverbanden kunnen we doen waar we het meest van houden:  Creatief zijn en onze verhalen, kennis en afbeeldingen met jullie delen!

    bekijk alle andere foto’s uit deze serie:

    [PILOT] PODCAST #01 Voor we in Winterslaap modus gaan...

    by Jolanda Marti | Wild & BOHO - podcast

    Meer Wild & BOHO podcast afeveringen

    PRAAT MEE!        –     Join the conversation:

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    Chopping wood is Therapeutic

    mei 7, 2019

    let them express their inner Rugged bearded man!

     

    Chopping wood, Therapeutic for him. That’s what I would call it…

    During the lunch break, or after dinner, Michiel loves to get outside and shop some wood. Rain or shine, Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter! He is out there chopping his logs in to big chunks of lumber for the fire.

    And to be honest, there can never be to much lumber.
    During the spring, summer, and fall we make nice campfires in our backyard.
    And we are looking for a nice stove to keep us warm and cozy during winter months!

     

    “It’s in our DNA as humans. There is a fascination with creating fire with most men.”

     I guess it’s a primal thing, making lumber to keep fires going has been a ritual for thousands of years.  It’s in our DNA as humans. There is a fascination with creating fire with most men. At least, that’s what I’m seeing.

    Look at the neighborhood barbecue… Where are the men? Where the fire is! Haha, a little bunch of pyromaniacs with their beer in hand poking the fire.

    So I say… let them chop wood. It’s good for the soul. Letting them follow that primal instinct, letting out all their negative energy and frustration on the logs.
    Letting them be wild instinct-driven bushcraft motherfuckers! They are providing wood. Providing warmth. Providing protection from the cold. Providing the fire which we all can gather around.  Hear him roar! My strong man. Gosh, o’ my! Look at him being all provide-dy and stuff! Suddenly I forget I’m an independent woman who can chop her own wood just fine. I bet he would catch me whenever I would faint. Oh wait, he actually did once when I was pregnant! See!? My strong wood chopping for-family-providing-and-protecting man!

     

    “a genius guide that can lead any aspiring Burschcraft motherfucker in the right direction!”

     

    So, whenever he gets grumpy… tell him to go out and chop some wood. Youll see. He’ll come back a whole other man. 😉 Thank you Weltevree for gearing us up with this fresh and sharp new blade for Michiel to get his chopping on! And we are so happy with this Dutch guide that publishing agency SNOR sent to us, it’s a genius guide that can lead any aspiring Burschcraft motherfucker in the right direction! (brilliant fathers day tip for all the dutchies)

    Ladies! Do you send your men out to do some chopping and de-stress!?
    Or is it just me?

    Blog by: Jolanda Marti
    Photography: Jolanda Marti & Michiel Fook

    “man of the house” MUST HAVES

    In this insta-proof flatlay, we laid everything out for you. All the must-haves to make him feel like the ultimate survival backyard bushcraft badass.

    from left to right – top to bottom:

    Follow Michiel on Instagram!

    Our story from his point of view! More guy stuff and how to be a badass dad to 3 badass girls!

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    People with buildup negativity are toxic, especially for empaths

    apr 28, 2019

    Sometimes you encounter someone who is harnessing a lot of negative emotions and when such a person gets the chance, they will unload their buildup emotional garbage on you.
    And well… that sucks.

    Key is not to let it get to you. Right… But that is easier said than done. I immediately tend to absorb all the emotions around me. All the time. There is no way of stopping it. My natural state is completely open. Highly sensitive to the feelings of people, picking up all emotions floating around. Everything gets in and hits me full force.

    So when someone unexpectedly opens fire on me and lashes out in a verbal and non-verbal (bodylanguage & Vibes) way, there is no hiding from it. No walls, no shields protecting me. Things don’t slide off… they stick on me. A clean transfer of complete feelings array from them to me takes place. I’m feeling everything they are going through! And It gets to me in a devastating way. It makes me retreat back into my bubble to restore for a while. Because it breaks me.

    But still, I’ll much rather be open, loving, honest and completely vunrebule than bitter and closed off blaming the world for my toxic negativity.

    Why are people dumping toxic emotional garbage on others?

    I feel as if people that are in such a bad place are looking for a safe outlet for their anger. And it’s like they can smell my defenselessness. Like they are looking for someone like me, they can easily put down and humiliate or lash out at. Someone to absorb their emotions. Someone without the threat of getting your ass kicked. Someone to blame all their problems on. Someone to be the villain in their story.

    Most of the time its people I’ve never met before. They don’t know me at all. And their reason to lash out is most of the time something negligible that is blown out of proportion. In the past, I’ve had multiple encounters. For example with (frustrated) people working in public transport that would lash out for me leaving a bag on the seat next to me or something minute like that. But in such a severe way that others around me jumped in to help me and afterward asking me if I was ok. (no, I was not) People attacking me “looking in their direction” and assuming I was judging them. (yes because of thats really the kind of person I am) Or people taking something I said the wrong way, twisting and turning my words because of their own assumptions.


    What does that to someone like me    ?

    Being extremely sensitive to the emotions of others. Being really empathic, means these attacks are really double for me. It’s not nice to be attacked. But at the same time, I feel them. I get it! As soon as their switch goes to black, even before attacking me I feel the air getting thicker, my skin starts to tingle, and the hairs in my neck stand up, Goosebumps, my heart starts pounding and a pit in my stomach. Bracing myself. Oh shit, here it comes… 

    In the moment that happens my first reaction is to freeze. The second reaction is to second guess myself. And in an attempt to calm the other person down I tried to apologize for whatever they think I did to them. Trying to make it right. But guess what? It NEVER works. An apology is never ever accepted. You know why? They need you to be the bad guy. They need to be angry at someone. And they have chosen YOU! 

    All I’m saying is that no matter how hard you try in being nice and loving to everyone. Some people will come for you anyway.

    And all I can do is go back home, and say to myself: 

    “you tried your best
    it’s ok
    this feeling will fade
    you will be fine
    just keep on breathing
    hug your kids
    even when it doesn’t feel this way
    there is still so much
    beauty in the world
    open your heart “

    Knowing I will feel better somewhere in the next days, but that other person has to live with feeling this way all the time, is a heartbreaking thought on its own. Life must be terrible being them.

    A part of me immediately wants to dive in, reach out and try to “save” them from the terrible place there in. But as they probably have picked me as their villain in their story they probably won’t be open to help from me. And I need to step back and say to my self “it is not your place to save everyone in this world, Pick your battles. This one is for someone else.”

     

    Those people are a victim of their own state of mind, they obviously have issues to work through. Even do that person had it in for me. I’m not angry with them. There is no use in creating more anger and negativity. The negativity that eventually will build up and will need an outlet. Negativity that, if I’m not able to let it out in a gentle healthy way, there is a chance I will take it out on someone else. Making this a neverending stream of negative emotions being pushed on forward to the next and the next and the next person.

    I’m stopping the vicious circle right here by crying. By talking. By letting it out.
    By hugging my family. By accepting. By understanding. By healing. By daring to open up again.  Just feeling it all.

    I hope she or he feels better after lashing out. I hope she or he will find some healing for themselves and be a happier person.

    A few weeks ago I had an abrupt short confusing encounter with a really troubled person who poured all their anxiety, insecurities, anger and frustration on me. Leaving me sad and burned out. 3 days after I started to recover. It made me think, it inspired me to reflect and write on the subject in this blog post.
    These things happen to me two or three times a year since I can remember.

    So there must be other people that can relate to this right!?
    Am I the only one? Maybe IT IS ME!? Inviting this on myself? Attracting it!?
    Sometimes its so hard to stand up for myself and being assertive because of the fear for another attack or making things worse.
    I NEED YOUR INPUT So, what do you think?

    Should I stay this defenseless without doing anything about it? Because of its a pure, open, honest state of being. A thing of beauty. And It is who I am?

    OR

    Do I need to protect myself a bit more? Have more defense systems? Fight back? Create more boundaries?
    Preventing the emotional garbage of others from getting in?  Getting thicker skin?

    And if so… How to do so in a healthy way?
    Because I wouldn’t know where to start. I have always been this way. 

    Thinking about this issue and talking about it to my friends and family did gave me a better understanding of what is happening.
    Reflecting on it was allready a big help and a form of self-care on its own.

    Tell me your thoughts on the subject! I could use your input.

    Love,
    Jolanda,

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    Our Mindful Babycare routine +WIN a Babycare Sheepskin

    apr 23, 2019

    Our Mindful Babycare routine +WIN a Babycare Sheepskin.

    Clean, feed, sleep repeat
    Clean, feed, sleep repeat
    Clean, feed, sleep repeat

    Day in, day out you get in this automated rhythm of taking care of your babe. And it’s basically the same every single time. Being a parent of a baby is hard. Especially that first year using. So going on survival mode and the whole taking care routine on autopilot
    But sometimes the “autopilot mode” becomes the “normal”. A habit of just getting the job done and get it over with.

    And then your baby starts acting out around those care rituals… Twisting and turning, trying to help you change the diaper grabbing all the dirty bits getting poop everywhere. Grabbing your face with their hands or kicking you with their feet for attention or maybe even try and turn to get away from you.

    But put yourself in their place. Someone grabbing you and starts clothing you, changing and washing you while completely ignoring you as a person. No eye contact. Nothing. They are just getting it over with. Sorry, no one home. Not mom or dad. Autopilot has taken over.

    Once in a while, I noticed it happened to us again. We’ve been overwhelmed and exhausted for a period, so we’ve slipped into this survival mode. And never came out. Usually, it hit me when my baby wasn’t working with me but making it impossible to get the job done. Acting out in all sorts of ways. Literally, shake me up and making me snap out of it.

    Instead of shouting to my baby “keep still” or “stop that NOW” I would realize what was happening.
    I am making her do this! It’s on me!
    So the solution was always simple, and always the same:

    1-make eye contact.
    2-talk to them and include them in what you are doing.
    3-sing to them.
    4-tickle them.
    5-cuddle them.
    6-lots of kisses and attention.
    7-take your time

    And we’ve all been there.
    Multiple times. This survival/autopilot mode is actually pretty handy for night changes or moments when you have trouble coping because your baby has been sick and keeping you awake or you are not feeling well or whatever. But after the crisis moments.. Get back in the moment and enjoy the precious one on one time with your little one.

    MAKE EYE CONTACT, TALK TO YOUR BABY. TAKE YOUR TIME.

    The Vachtenspecialist.nl send us a Babycare sheepskin for our little Quinn to chill on while we give her all the attention in the world.

    So tell me… Do you catch yourself sometimes being an apathetic exhausted on-auto-mode operating parent sometimes?
    How do you notice you’re out of it and how do you get yourself back in the moment?

     

    Blog by: Jolanda Marti
    Photography: Jolanda Marti & Michiel Fook

    WIN a babycare sheepskin For mothersday!

    Research has shown that babies who sleep on a sheepskin are less likely to have asthma.

    In addition, sheepskins are not only for the cold winter months, they also have a cooling effect in the summer. Moisture is absorbed by the fur and air between the hairs acts as a natural air conditioner. In winter you stay pleasantly warm and in the summer nice and cool.

    Another advantage of these coats is that they can be washed out. And the size is ideal for the crib or baby pen!

    If you want to have the chance to win a Babycare sheepskin all you have to do is:

    • Follow: @wildandboho on Instagram
    • Follow: @vachtenspecialist on Instagram
    • Tag someone who would love to have one two in this in the comments of this Instagram post:

    The winner will be revealed the 5th of Mei in my Instagram stories 

     

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    Self-care tips for moms.

    apr 12, 2019

    self-care guide for mothers

    Yes, you are a mom.
    Yes, you are a partner to your other half.
    Yes, you are a career woman
    Yes, you are the woman of the house…
    But YOUR “ME” needs to be taken care of too. That girl without kids, without stress and so many balls in the air… She is still in there! And she needs your love and attention!

    Most moms put their family’s health before their own.  And I am such a mom on occasion. Self-sacrifice is a natural parenting/mom thing that happens instinctively. But Putting Your Family ALLWAYS First at expense of yourself Doesn’t Make You a Better Mom. Actually… It will make you a tired, grumpy, exhausted and stressed mother if you neglect yourself for a longer period. 

    We as moms (have to) take on so many tasks, so many roles, so many faces, so many responsibilities that we tend to bury ourselves in it and carry on way too long.

    And we can take a lot. We are strong woman, and we can carry on for a long time. But we all have our limits. so before hitting a wall and end us completely exhausted and burned up. Maybe try and find, no, MAKE space for your needs. so you can be the best mom they deserve! A lot of the times the other partner/parent does succeed in taking care of themselves. And that’s wonderful! Take note. Now you!

    Some misbelieves that may hold you down:

    • You are NOT selfish for taking care of your mental needs first once in a while.
    • The world won’t crash and burn if you leave others with some responsibilities for a few hours.
    • It does’n have to cost a lot of money.
    • It doesnt have to cost a lot of time.
    • Self-care is not an indulgence, its necessity to stay balanced!
    • You are not neglecting your kids or work. You are actually taking up the responsibility for your own helath!

    What is self-care?
    The better question is: What is self-care to YOU? All the little things you do that will take your stress away, give you a more emotionally balanced, centered feeling and generally makes you feel happier and give you a more positive outlook on life will count as Self-care.

    What makes you happy that you do just for YOU!?
    Take a pen and paper and write down what kind of little fun of relaxing activities you would like to do if you had no responsibilities or stress in the world? (maybe even think back to the time you didn’t have children) There is no right or wrong answer here. Are there little things that need to be resolved that are bugging you? make a list. write down what you need to do to take care of your needs.

    For some that may be taking a long hot bath and read a book or listen to music.
    For others It would be doing Sports, Yoga, painting, or meeting up with your friends and talk, going on a date with your partner, sauna, massage, swimming, writing in a journal, painting your nails! Or maybe all the above! Whatever you can think of that will make you happy, that will make you re-charge. That will get you to exhale for a few seconds and stop rushing.

    For moms of tiny little babies making time for self-care will mean relaxing while having your baby near you but in the care of another person. That way you will be “able” to relax without feeling anxious about leaving your baby or checking your phone every 3 minutes.
    Never let anyone tell you “you need to be away from your baby to relax” if you feel in your heart and stomach that you just don’t want to leave him/her.

     

    It is hard to create space for self-care as a mom

    How to find/create the time

    • The little things
      Small little routines like journaling before going to sleep or cooking a fresh meal in peace. Making up your bed every day.
    • Ask for help.
      What do you need to make it happen? A lot of the times someone will need to take care of the kids for a little while! Your partner will need to pitch in! The other parent in your family can hold the fort while you exhale for a couple of hours. For single parents (SO much respect) that will mean you will have to look for help elsewhere. Your Parents, friends, neighbors, parents of your kid’s friends, anyone you may trust and dare to ask for help! Please, people may surprise you! Lovely mama…Take a deep breath… and just. ask. for. help.
    • Reserve a date and time
      Block a space in your agenda for your self-care moment… now block the 2 hours before that time as a buffer. Better yet, plan at least one moment every week as me-time! It will become easier if this turns in to a little weekly/bi-weekly routine.
    • No Bailing on yourself!
      Take away your biggest stress factors, distractions & excuses to bail on yourself in advanced. Make sure that whatever happens. you will take time for yourself!
      Clear the road!
    • Pick it up again!
      And if you fail to take the time for yourself anyway… no worries! Don’t stress about it. That’s actually the very thing we want to prevent! Life happens. Kids can get sick, plans can change. I fail at it all the time! Whatever. The important thing to remember is… just pick it up again as soon as possible. Re-schedule. You deserve to be happy! And your family deserves a happy mom! You matter!

    Set the right example!

    Want the best for your kids… And how would you like your kids treating themselves as adults later in life!? Lead by example! By showing them that self-care is an important part of life and demonstrating that we all should help each other create space for individual needs they will learn how to take care of themselves and others in a balanced way later in life. And be happier people for it.

     

    Love,
    Jolanda, Michiel
    Miley, Haley & Quinn

    33 Self care inspiration list ideas

    1. Go to yoga class once a week
    2. Take 40 minutes every day to journal and reflect.
    3. Go and have lunch with your best friend!
    4. Take a hot long bath and read a book every week!
    5. Take a nap without an alarm clock
    6. take a walk through nature
    7. Craft something
    8. Go swim for fun
    9. Make art
    10. Sing and Dance like nobody is watching!
    11. Go online and learn a new skill using tutorials!
    12. Listen to a podcast
    13. Go to the gym
    14. De-clutter and re-organise your wardrobe or beauty products
    15. Unplug from social media for a day (or at least a few hours).
    16. Go to the spa
    17. Feeling overwhelmed? Create a plan to create order in the chaos! Start with all the small things so the list gets shorter. Then order the tasks from most-pressing to least-pressing.
    18. Pick flowers
    19. Bake something
    20. Cook something delicious 
    21. Learn 4-8-7 breathing
    22. do some mindfulness exersizes
    23. Write down your life goals and dreams and create an inspirational collage to hang on the toilet! (“toilet” a.k.a. safe space for moms…the only place you can run to for some peace and quiet when the kids are around)Get a massage.
    24. Go hiking, camping, or backpacking and spend some time in nature
    25. Go S.U.B-ing (stand up paddle)
    26. Go on a date with your partner
    27. Sleep in
    28. Do some gardening
    29. Take care of your houseplants.
    30. Restyle a room in the house! Change some pillows rugs, blankets, wallhangings and plants. A little bit of styling can make a big change! (search on Instagram or pintrest for inspiration)
    31. Meditate
    32. Spend 1 on 1 time with one of your kids for some quality time!
    33. Plann your next vacation!

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