Run wild my child

Run wild my child

We love to prepare a picknick basket and go out in the woods. Driving to the woods we are hearing all the “where are we going”-‘s and “are we there yet”-‘s and ” I don’t want to go to the wood”-‘s of the world. Yes, our kids are like all the other kids in the world. But once we are there all of that is forgotten and off they go. Climbing trees collecting treasures and building castles.

We hike for a bit. Find a nice place to lay down a plaid and our stuff as a “home-base”. Chilling and eating and playing around in the shade of the trees. We spot dears, hear the songs the birds are singing to us, the wind blowing through the trees and our wildling cubs howling to the beat of the forest.

Little feet are making a wonderful crunchy sound as they touch the layered floor of the forest. Every step feels different, little sticks, rocks, bones, grass, and mosses are all hiding under a think mixed layer of old crispy and fresh soft fallen leaves. Making every step an exciting surprise. Walking on barefoot shoes is making our exploration feel natural to the touch and safe against rough undergrounds and sharp objects at the same time.

All things we normally tend to worry about seeming small and insignificant. No to-do lists, bills to pay, work to do, places to be. Because this is all that matters, this is all we need. Each other and nature. This feels like freedom. Pure happiness.

We are rich when we leave to go home. Our bounty: A scraped knee, two feathers, seven stones, four leaves, improved tree climbing skills, twelve-spotted dears, hundred stories, and five fully charged inspiration batteries.

On our way back home our little Quinn falls asleep in the car, Haley is quietly looking out the window and Miley asking us ” this was fun! When can we go back!?”

As soon as possible my little wildling.

Love,
Jolanda, Michiel
Miley, Haley & Quinn

    We love Wildling shoes

     

     Wildling shoes geared our whole family up with their barefoot shoes and we are loving it! 

    The wonderful feeling of running and climbing barefoot through the forest while being safe against rough undergrounds and sharp objects is amazing! 

    Walking around barefoot or with barefoot schoe, wair doesn’t just feel great. It’s actually really healthy too! The reason why is very well explained here:
    1- In Duch by Linde Logtenberg on her Instagram here!
    2- or in this video by Teck Insider

    We want to thank our partner Wildling shoes  for supporting us and making it possible for us to keep producing our video’s, vlogs and blogs. It’s because of these kind partnerships we get to do what we love most:
    Being creative and sharing our stories and Images!

    People with buildup negativity are toxic, especially for empaths

    Sometimes you encounter someone who is harnessing a lot of negative emotions and when such a person gets the chance, they will unload their buildup emotional garbage on you.
    And well… that sucks.

    Key is not to let it get to you. Right… But that is easier said than done. I immediately tend to absorb all the emotions around me. All the time. There is no way of stopping it. My natural state is completely open. Highly sensitive to the feelings of people, picking up all emotions floating around. Everything gets in and hits me full force.

    So when someone unexpectedly opens fire on me and lashes out in a verbal and non-verbal (bodylanguage & Vibes) way, there is no hiding from it. No walls, no shields protecting me. Things don’t slide off… they stick on me. A clean transfer of complete feelings array from them to me takes place. I’m feeling everything they are going through! And It gets to me in a devastating way. It makes me retreat back into my bubble to restore for a while. Because it breaks me.

    But still, I’ll much rather be open, loving, honest and completely vunrebule than bitter and closed off blaming the world for my toxic negativity.

    Why are people dumping toxic emotional garbage on others?

    I feel as if people that are in such a bad place are looking for a safe outlet for their anger. And it’s like they can smell my defenselessness. Like they are looking for someone like me, they can easily put down and humiliate or lash out at. Someone to absorb their emotions. Someone without the threat of getting your ass kicked. Someone to blame all their problems on. Someone to be the villain in their story.

    Most of the time its people I’ve never met before. They don’t know me at all. And their reason to lash out is most of the time something negligible that is blown out of proportion. In the past, I’ve had multiple encounters. For example with (frustrated) people working in public transport that would lash out for me leaving a bag on the seat next to me or something minute like that. But in such a severe way that others around me jumped in to help me and afterward asking me if I was ok. (no, I was not) People attacking me “looking in their direction” and assuming I was judging them. (yes because of thats really the kind of person I am) Or people taking something I said the wrong way, twisting and turning my words because of their own assumptions.


    What does that to someone like me
    ?

    Being extremely sensitive to the emotions of others. Being really empathic, means these attacks are really double for me. It’s not nice to be attacked. But at the same time, I feel them. I get it! As soon as their switch goes to black, even before attacking me I feel the air getting thicker, my skin starts to tingle, and the hairs in my neck stand up, Goosebumps, my heart starts pounding and a pit in my stomach. Bracing myself. Oh shit, here it comes… 

    In the moment that happens my first reaction is to freeze. The second reaction is to second guess myself. And in an attempt to calm the other person down I tried to apologize for whatever they think I did to them. Trying to make it right. But guess what? It NEVER works. An apology is never ever accepted. You know why? They need you to be the bad guy. They need to be angry at someone. And they have chosen YOU! 

    All I’m saying is that no matter how hard you try in being nice and loving to everyone. Some people will come for you anyway.

    And all I can do is go back home, and say to myself: 

    “you tried your best
    it’s ok
    this feeling will fade

    you will be fine
    just keep on breathing
    hug your kids
    even when it doesn’t feel this way
    there is still so much
    beauty in the world
    open your heart “

    Knowing I will feel better somewhere in the next days, but that other person has to live with feeling this way all the time, is a heartbreaking thought on its own. Life must be terrible being them.

    A part of me immediately wants to dive in, reach out and try to “save” them from the terrible place there in. But as they probably have picked me as their villain in their story they probably won’t be open to help from me. And I need to step back and say to my self “it is not your place to save everyone in this world, Pick your battles. This one is for someone else.”

     

    Those people are a victim of their own state of mind, they obviously have issues to work through. Even do that person had it in for me. I’m not angry with them. There is no use in creating more anger and negativity. The negativity that eventually will build up and will need an outlet. Negativity that, if I’m not able to let it out in a gentle healthy way, there is a chance I will take it out on someone else. Making this a neverending stream of negative emotions being pushed on forward to the next and the next and the next person.

    I’m stopping the vicious circle right here by crying. By talking. By letting it out.
    By hugging my family. By accepting. By understanding. By healing. By daring to open up again.  Just feeling it all.

    I hope she or he feels better after lashing out. I hope she or he will find some healing for themselves and be a happier person.

    A few weeks ago I had an abrupt short confusing encounter with a really troubled person who poured all their anxiety, insecurities, anger and frustration on me. Leaving me sad and burned out. 3 days after I started to recover. It made me think, it inspired me to reflect and write on the subject in this blog post.
    These things happen to me two or three times a year since I can remember.

    So there must be other people that can relate to this right!?
    Am I the only one? Maybe IT IS ME!? Inviting this on myself? Attracting it!?
    Sometimes its so hard to stand up for myself and being assertive because of the fear for another attack or making things worse.
    I NEED YOUR INPUT So, what do you think?

    Should I stay this defenseless without doing anything about it? Because of its a pure, open, honest state of being. A thing of beauty. And It is who I am?

    OR

    Do I need to protect myself a bit more? Have more defense systems? Fight back? Create more boundaries?
    Preventing the emotional garbage of others from getting in?  Getting thicker skin?

    And if so… How to do so in a healthy way?
    Because I wouldn’t know where to start. I have always been this way. 

    Thinking about this issue and talking about it to my friends and family did gave me a better understanding of what is happening.
    Reflecting on it was allready a big help and a form of self-care on its own.

    Tell me your thoughts on the subject! I could use your input.

    Love,
    Jolanda,

    Our Mindful Babycare routine +WIN a Babycare Sheepskin

    Our Mindful Babycare routine +WIN a Babycare Sheepskin.

    Clean, feed, sleep repeat
    Clean, feed, sleep repeat
    Clean, feed, sleep repeat

    Day in, day out you get in this automated rhythm of taking care of your babe. And it’s basically the same every single time. Being a parent of a baby is hard. Especially that first year using. So going on survival mode and the whole taking care routine on autopilot
    But sometimes the “autopilot mode” becomes the “normal”. A habit of just getting the job done and get it over with.

    And then your baby starts acting out around those care rituals… Twisting and turning, trying to help you change the diaper grabbing all the dirty bits getting poop everywhere. Grabbing your face with their hands or kicking you with their feet for attention or maybe even try and turn to get away from you.

    But put yourself in their place. Someone grabbing you and starts clothing you, changing and washing you while completely ignoring you as a person. No eye contact. Nothing. They are just getting it over with. Sorry, no one home. Not mom or dad. Autopilot has taken over.

    Once in a while, I noticed it happened to us again. We’ve been overwhelmed and exhausted for a period, so we’ve slipped into this survival mode. And never came out. Usually, it hit me when my baby wasn’t working with me but making it impossible to get the job done. Acting out in all sorts of ways. Literally, shake me up and making me snap out of it.

    Instead of shouting to my baby “keep still” or “stop that NOW” I would realize what was happening.
    I am making her do this! It’s on me!
    So the solution was always simple, and always the same:

    1-make eye contact.
    2-talk to them and include them in what you are doing.
    3-sing to them.
    4-tickle them.
    5-cuddle them.
    6-lots of kisses and attention.
    7-take your time

    And we’ve all been there.
    Multiple times. This survival/autopilot mode is actually pretty handy for night changes or moments when you have trouble coping because your baby has been sick and keeping you awake or you are not feeling well or whatever. But after the crisis moments.. Get back in the moment and enjoy the precious one on one time with your little one.

    MAKE EYE CONTACT, TALK TO YOUR BABY. TAKE YOUR TIME.

    The Vachtenspecialist.nl send us a Babycare sheepskin for our little Quinn to chill on while we give her all the attention in the world.

    So tell me… Do you catch yourself sometimes being an apathetic exhausted on-auto-mode operating parent sometimes?
    How do you notice you’re out of it and how do you get yourself back in the moment?

     

    Blog by: Jolanda Marti
    Photography: Jolanda Marti & Michiel Fook

    WIN a babycare sheepskin For mothersday!

    Research has shown that babies who sleep on a sheepskin are less likely to have asthma.

    In addition, sheepskins are not only for the cold winter months, they also have a cooling effect in the summer. Moisture is absorbed by the fur and air between the hairs acts as a natural air conditioner. In winter you stay pleasantly warm and in the summer nice and cool.

    Another advantage of these coats is that they can be washed out. And the size is ideal for the crib or baby pen!

    If you want to have the chance to win a Babycare sheepskin all you have to do is:

    • Follow: @wildandboho on Instagram
    • Follow: @vachtenspecialist on Instagram
    • Tag someone who would love to have one two in this in the comments of this Instagram post:

    The winner will be revealed the 5th of Mei in my Instagram stories 

     

    Living with Syndrome of Raynaud

    Afraid of what might happen

     

    Coping Syndrome of Raynaud and tips on preventing an episode.

    Whenever the temperatures get low. I will start wrapping myself in.
    Whenever I step into a place that has air conditioning on, I shrink in.

    Whenever there is a brisk breeze… I cover my ears.
    Whenever I feel overwhelmed and tired, I wrap myself in a blanket to keep warm.

    Afraid of what might happen. Afraid of my fingers, my toes, my ears, and my face turning in to numb white-yellow paralyzed lumps. Losing all fine-motor skills and not being able to move those areas of my body. The area’s around the temporarily affected body parts feel cramped. And it hurts. When I return into space with a stable temperature and something warm to start up my blood flow again the color and life starts to flow back into my feet again.

    “I remember when I was a small child I would try and hide in the classroom”

    I practically never talk about this to anyone. because it’s not a big deal to me. For me, it’s the most normal thing in the world. I remember when I was a small child I would try and hide in the classroom, trying to skip play-time in the schoolyard. I preferred to stay inside in winter time. I preferred to not go through the whole process of another episode again and again.

    The only other person who had the same reaction to the cold is one of my best friends. And she told me she had googled it and that it might be Syndrome of Raynaud.
    I thought, Nah, what are the odds of us both having this same thing. I probably just get cold easily and am “being a pussy about it” (such a Dutch way of thinking). So I never dug into it.

    Years later I talked to my yoga teacher Ingvild at Yogaways about it. The topic came up because I tend to get really cold feet and lose all feeling and sense in my toes during yoga (which is something you do barefoot) Especially while doing yoga outside and it’s not a shimmering 25°C outside (or there is a cold breeze). She told me it sounded like Syndrome of Raynaud.

    “But I realized this was a thing to be reckoned with. Ignoring it could turn out devastating.”

    Ok. This was the second time someone pointed this out to me, so I thought it was time for some research. WOW! The pictures of white and yellow fingers and toes I found online were spot on what I was experiencing. The pictures of the black and blue limbs scared me a bit. I never let it go that far! Like, What the hell, the white stage was painful enough, and I always got my blood flow back before something like that could ever happen. But I realized this was a thing to be reckoned with. Ignoring it could turn out devastating.

    Overall there is no real cure. But there are some things I do that will prevent me from having another big attack on my limbs.

     

    Advice for dealing with Syndrome of Raynaud

     

    1. – Hot/cold – Training the veins and gaining flexibility there is making the attacks less heavy and makes recovery after an attack faster.
      Taking hot/cold showers, or going to the sauna is a well-controlled way to train the fine fains in your limbs.
      .
    2. – Protect yourself! – If it’s temperature and the thing that triggers an attack: Protect your hands, feet and face/ears before going into situations where you just KNOW you could have another episode.
      I also notice that whenever I’m tired or emotional or overwhelmed it tends to happen! So finding rest and nesting on the couch or the bed with a blanket when needed is key! And when an episode is triggered as an emotional or after a scare, It’s important to retrieve yourself. Get your heartbeat and adrenaline levels down. Drink some tea, move and warm up the affected areas gently. And try to distract yourself by reading, watching Netflix or talk to someone.
      .
    3. – Health! – Having a good healthy body will help you battle this, and will make the outbursts less extreme and less frequent. In short… It’s a veins problem. So obviously your overall health has a big influence on it. These things seem obvious (to me) but I’m going to sum them up anyway:
      -Do not smoke (This one is very important)
      -Eat plenty of deep green veggies
      -Move your body! Run, climb, swim, do yoga, fitness, whatever you like! As long as you get off that couch!
      -Get enough sleep
      -And be mindful! Do whatever you need to take your stress levels down!

     

    I really hope that this might help some of you that may have these symptoms and maybe never realized what it was. And for everyone else: This is a thing, It’s not a huge thing, its not life-threatening, but it is something I have to live with. If you ever see me suddenly walk away when its cold, or stepping inside the hallway of school while everyone is standing outside in the cold, or waiting in the car instead of stepping out, I’m not being impolite, selfish or a pussy… I’m preventing an attack on my limbs. 😉 Not all conditions are visible.

    Do you know anyone that feels pain or gets paralyzed limbs with a sudden change of temperatures or cold?

    Blog by: Jolanda Marti
    Photography: Michiel Fook

    Wikipedia on Raynaud syndrome

    Raynaud syndrome, also known as Raynaud’s phenomenon, is a medical condition in which spasm of arteries cause episodes of reduced blood flow.

    Typically, the fingers, and less commonly the toes, are involved. Rarely, the nose, ears, or lips are affected. The episodes result in the affected part turning white and then blue.  Often, numbness or pain occurs. As blood flow returns, the area turns red and burns.

    The episodes typically last minutes, but can last several hours. Read more…

    Yoga and Syndrome of Raynaud

    One of the things I recently started doing is wearing these barefoot shoes while doing yoga whenever  the temperature is too cold. Wildling shoes geared our whole family up with their barefoot shoes and gave me these for my yoga practice!


    Just perfect for preventing getting cold feet during my yoga practice and still give be the next best thing after real bare-foot yoga. Because of the freedom my feet and toes have in these shoes, I am able to protect myself from the cold and still feel like being barefoot. The top of the shoe is smooth which allows me to glide, while the thin and flexible sole gives me a lot of grip on the ground and prevents me from slipping! It works better than I ever could have hoped for! So grateful for this solution!

    So for everyone doing yoga on rough terrain or who get cold feet and maybe get cramps or has Syndrome of Raynaud like me!? These Barefoot shoes are a really good solution!

    Self-care tips for moms.

    self-care guide for mothers

    Yes, you are a mom.
    Yes, you are a partner to your other half.
    Yes, you are a career woman
    Yes, you are the woman of the house…
    But YOUR “ME” needs to be taken care of too. That girl without kids, without stress and so many balls in the air… She is still in there! And she needs your love and attention!

    Most moms put their family’s health before their own.  And I am such a mom on occasion. Self-sacrifice is a natural parenting/mom thing that happens instinctively. But Putting Your Family ALLWAYS First at expense of yourself Doesn’t Make You a Better Mom. Actually… It will make you a tired, grumpy, exhausted and stressed mother if you neglect yourself for a longer period. 

    We as moms (have to) take on so many tasks, so many roles, so many faces, so many responsibilities that we tend to bury ourselves in it and carry on way too long.

    And we can take a lot. We are strong woman, and we can carry on for a long time. But we all have our limits. so before hitting a wall and end us completely exhausted and burned up. Maybe try and find, no, MAKE space for your needs. so you can be the best mom they deserve! A lot of the times the other partner/parent does succeed in taking care of themselves. And that’s wonderful! Take note. Now you!

    Some misbelieves that may hold you down:

    • You are NOT selfish for taking care of your mental needs first once in a while.
    • The world won’t crash and burn if you leave others with some responsibilities for a few hours.
    • It does’n have to cost a lot of money.
    • It doesnt have to cost a lot of time.
    • Self-care is not an indulgence, its necessity to stay balanced!
    • You are not neglecting your kids or work. You are actually taking up the responsibility for your own helath!

    What is self-care?
    The better question is: What is self-care to YOU? All the little things you do that will take your stress away, give you a more emotionally balanced, centered feeling and generally makes you feel happier and give you a more positive outlook on life will count as Self-care.

    What makes you happy that you do just for YOU!?
    Take a pen and paper and write down what kind of little fun of relaxing activities you would like to do if you had no responsibilities or stress in the world? (maybe even think back to the time you didn’t have children) There is no right or wrong answer here. Are there little things that need to be resolved that are bugging you? make a list. write down what you need to do to take care of your needs.

    For some that may be taking a long hot bath and read a book or listen to music.
    For others It would be doing Sports, Yoga, painting, or meeting up with your friends and talk, going on a date with your partner, sauna, massage, swimming, writing in a journal, painting your nails! Or maybe all the above! Whatever you can think of that will make you happy, that will make you re-charge. That will get you to exhale for a few seconds and stop rushing.

    For moms of tiny little babies making time for self-care will mean relaxing while having your baby near you but in the care of another person. That way you will be “able” to relax without feeling anxious about leaving your baby or checking your phone every 3 minutes.
    Never let anyone tell you “you need to be away from your baby to relax” if you feel in your heart and stomach that you just don’t want to leave him/her.

     

    It is hard to create space for self-care as a mom

    How to find/create the time

    • The little things
      Small little routines like journaling before going to sleep or cooking a fresh meal in peace. Making up your bed every day.
    • Ask for help.
      What do you need to make it happen? A lot of the times someone will need to take care of the kids for a little while! Your partner will need to pitch in! The other parent in your family can hold the fort while you exhale for a couple of hours. For single parents (SO much respect) that will mean you will have to look for help elsewhere. Your Parents, friends, neighbors, parents of your kid’s friends, anyone you may trust and dare to ask for help! Please, people may surprise you! Lovely mama…Take a deep breath… and just. ask. for. help.
    • Reserve a date and time
      Block a space in your agenda for your self-care moment… now block the 2 hours before that time as a buffer. Better yet, plan at least one moment every week as me-time! It will become easier if this turns in to a little weekly/bi-weekly routine.
    • No Bailing on yourself!
      Take away your biggest stress factors, distractions & excuses to bail on yourself in advanced. Make sure that whatever happens. you will take time for yourself!
      Clear the road!
    • Pick it up again!
      And if you fail to take the time for yourself anyway… no worries! Don’t stress about it. That’s actually the very thing we want to prevent! Life happens. Kids can get sick, plans can change. I fail at it all the time! Whatever. The important thing to remember is… just pick it up again as soon as possible. Re-schedule. You deserve to be happy! And your family deserves a happy mom! You matter!

    Set the right example!

    Want the best for your kids… And how would you like your kids treating themselves as adults later in life!? Lead by example! By showing them that self-care is an important part of life and demonstrating that we all should help each other create space for individual needs they will learn how to take care of themselves and others in a balanced way later in life. And be happier people for it.

     

    Love,
    Jolanda, Michiel
    Miley, Haley & Quinn

    33 Self care inspiration list ideas

    1. Go to yoga class once a week
    2. Take 40 minutes every day to journal and reflect.
    3. Go and have lunch with your best friend!
    4. Take a hot long bath and read a book every week!
    5. Take a nap without an alarm clock
    6. take a walk through nature
    7. Craft something
    8. Go swim for fun
    9. Make art
    10. Sing and Dance like nobody is watching!
    11. Go online and learn a new skill using tutorials!
    12. Listen to a podcast
    13. Go to the gym
    14. De-clutter and re-organise your wardrobe or beauty products
    15. Unplug from social media for a day (or at least a few hours).
    16. Go to the spa
    17. Feeling overwhelmed? Create a plan to create order in the chaos! Start with all the small things so the list gets shorter. Then order the tasks from most-pressing to least-pressing.
    18. Pick flowers
    19. Bake something
    20. Cook something delicious 
    21. Learn 4-8-7 breathing
    22. do some mindfulness exersizes
    23. Write down your life goals and dreams and create an inspirational collage to hang on the toilet! (“toilet” a.k.a. safe space for moms…the only place you can run to for some peace and quiet when the kids are around)Get a massage.
    24. Go hiking, camping, or backpacking and spend some time in nature
    25. Go S.U.B-ing (stand up paddle)
    26. Go on a date with your partner
    27. Sleep in
    28. Do some gardening
    29. Take care of your houseplants.
    30. Restyle a room in the house! Change some pillows rugs, blankets, wallhangings and plants. A little bit of styling can make a big change! (search on Instagram or pintrest for inspiration)
    31. Meditate
    32. Spend 1 on 1 time with one of your kids for some quality time!
    33. Plann your next vacation!

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