Self-care tips for moms.

self-care guide for mothers

Yes, you are a mom.
Yes, you are a partner to your other half.
Yes, you are a career woman
Yes, you are the woman of the house…
But YOUR “ME” needs to be taken care of too. That girl without kids, without stress and so many balls in the air… She is still in there! And she needs your love and attention!

Most moms put their family’s health before their own.  And I am such a mom on occasion. Self-sacrifice is a natural parenting/mom thing that happens instinctively. But Putting Your Family ALLWAYS First at expense of yourself Doesn’t Make You a Better Mom. Actually… It will make you a tired, grumpy, exhausted and stressed mother if you neglect yourself for a longer period. 

We as moms (have to) take on so many tasks, so many roles, so many faces, so many responsibilities that we tend to bury ourselves in it and carry on way too long.

And we can take a lot. We are strong woman, and we can carry on for a long time. But we all have our limits. so before hitting a wall and end us completely exhausted and burned up. Maybe try and find, no, MAKE space for your needs. so you can be the best mom they deserve! A lot of the times the other partner/parent does succeed in taking care of themselves. And that’s wonderful! Take note. Now you!

Some misbelieves that may hold you down:

  • You are NOT selfish for taking care of your mental needs first once in a while.
  • The world won’t crash and burn if you leave others with some responsibilities for a few hours.
  • It does’n have to cost a lot of money.
  • It doesnt have to cost a lot of time.
  • Self-care is not an indulgence, its necessity to stay balanced!
  • You are not neglecting your kids or work. You are actually taking up the responsibility for your own helath!

What is self-care?
The better question is: What is self-care to YOU? All the little things you do that will take your stress away, give you a more emotionally balanced, centered feeling and generally makes you feel happier and give you a more positive outlook on life will count as Self-care.

What makes you happy that you do just for YOU!?
Take a pen and paper and write down what kind of little fun of relaxing activities you would like to do if you had no responsibilities or stress in the world? (maybe even think back to the time you didn’t have children) There is no right or wrong answer here. Are there little things that need to be resolved that are bugging you? make a list. write down what you need to do to take care of your needs.

For some that may be taking a long hot bath and read a book or listen to music.
For others It would be doing Sports, Yoga, painting, or meeting up with your friends and talk, going on a date with your partner, sauna, massage, swimming, writing in a journal, painting your nails! Or maybe all the above! Whatever you can think of that will make you happy, that will make you re-charge. That will get you to exhale for a few seconds and stop rushing.

For moms of tiny little babies making time for self-care will mean relaxing while having your baby near you but in the care of another person. That way you will be “able” to relax without feeling anxious about leaving your baby or checking your phone every 3 minutes.
Never let anyone tell you “you need to be away from your baby to relax” if you feel in your heart and stomach that you just don’t want to leave him/her.

 

It is hard to create space for self-care as a mom

How to find/create the time

  • The little things
    Small little routines like journaling before going to sleep or cooking a fresh meal in peace. Making up your bed every day.
  • Ask for help.
    What do you need to make it happen? A lot of the times someone will need to take care of the kids for a little while! Your partner will need to pitch in! The other parent in your family can hold the fort while you exhale for a couple of hours. For single parents (SO much respect) that will mean you will have to look for help elsewhere. Your Parents, friends, neighbors, parents of your kid’s friends, anyone you may trust and dare to ask for help! Please, people may surprise you! Lovely mama…Take a deep breath… and just. ask. for. help.
  • Reserve a date and time
    Block a space in your agenda for your self-care moment… now block the 2 hours before that time as a buffer. Better yet, plan at least one moment every week as me-time! It will become easier if this turns in to a little weekly/bi-weekly routine.
  • No Bailing on yourself!
    Take away your biggest stress factors, distractions & excuses to bail on yourself in advanced. Make sure that whatever happens. you will take time for yourself!
    Clear the road!
  • Pick it up again!
    And if you fail to take the time for yourself anyway… no worries! Don’t stress about it. That’s actually the very thing we want to prevent! Life happens. Kids can get sick, plans can change. I fail at it all the time! Whatever. The important thing to remember is… just pick it up again as soon as possible. Re-schedule. You deserve to be happy! And your family deserves a happy mom! You matter!

Set the right example!

Want the best for your kids… And how would you like your kids treating themselves as adults later in life!? Lead by example! By showing them that self-care is an important part of life and demonstrating that we all should help each other create space for individual needs they will learn how to take care of themselves and others in a balanced way later in life. And be happier people for it.

 

Love,
Jolanda, Michiel
Miley, Haley & Quinn

33 Self care inspiration list ideas

  1. Go to yoga class once a week
  2. Take 40 minutes every day to journal and reflect.
  3. Go and have lunch with your best friend!
  4. Take a hot long bath and read a book every week!
  5. Take a nap without an alarm clock
  6. take a walk through nature
  7. Craft something
  8. Go swim for fun
  9. Make art
  10. Sing and Dance like nobody is watching!
  11. Go online and learn a new skill using tutorials!
  12. Listen to a podcast
  13. Go to the gym
  14. De-clutter and re-organise your wardrobe or beauty products
  15. Unplug from social media for a day (or at least a few hours).
  16. Go to the spa
  17. Feeling overwhelmed? Create a plan to create order in the chaos! Start with all the small things so the list gets shorter. Then order the tasks from most-pressing to least-pressing.
  18. Pick flowers
  19. Bake something
  20. Cook something delicious 
  21. Learn 4-8-7 breathing
  22. do some mindfulness exersizes
  23. Write down your life goals and dreams and create an inspirational collage to hang on the toilet! (“toilet” a.k.a. safe space for moms…the only place you can run to for some peace and quiet when the kids are around)Get a massage.
  24. Go hiking, camping, or backpacking and spend some time in nature
  25. Go S.U.B-ing (stand up paddle)
  26. Go on a date with your partner
  27. Sleep in
  28. Do some gardening
  29. Take care of your houseplants.
  30. Restyle a room in the house! Change some pillows rugs, blankets, wallhangings and plants. A little bit of styling can make a big change! (search on Instagram or pintrest for inspiration)
  31. Meditate
  32. Spend 1 on 1 time with one of your kids for some quality time!
  33. Plann your next vacation!

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Bathtime goals

We don’t wash our kids…

Our bathtime ritual.
We made a video about our thoughts on getting our Baby and kids “clean”.

When you explore, you tend to get dirty! But that doesn’t mean we necessarily want to get cleanBecauseouse whenever we get a bit crunchy of all the playing, we just play some more in the tub!

It you think we take a bath to get clean… think again.
Kids don’t care about getting clean!
Kids just want to have more adventures!
Climbing mountains of foam, You can be a superhero with superpowers,
You can make it snow, Play hide and seek, Explore, 
You can be a hairdresser or make high fashion

And the getting clean part… oh, that just happens. Just like the getting dirty again thing. But who has time to think of those kinds of things, when there is so much having fun to do.

So do you wash your kids? or do you just let them PLAY some more!?  

We want to thank our partner Naïf baby for supporting us and making it possible for us to keep producing our video’s, vlogs and blogs. It’s because of these kind partnerships we get to do what we love most:
Being creative and sharing our stories and Images.

And Thank you for watching our adventures, blogs, and videos! Your interest in our adventures is what’s giving us the biggest motivation to keep on producing our content!
And we love you for it!
Love,

  Jolanda, Michiel,
Miley Haley & Quinn

Bathtime goals

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Quest for change – We visited a sailship on a mission.

Quest for change

https://www.clean2antarctica.nl/explore/challenging-companies-and-millenials

Me, my mother in law and the Girls visited the Sailboat the “Morgenster” (meaning “morningstar” in dutch) in the dock of the Scheepvaart museum in Amsterdam.

Not just a pretty boat… but a floating think tank, where young and bright minds are creating new sustainable solutions for a better, cleaner and brighter future of this planet.

One of those young people is our niece Esmee! She was selected to go on a 29-day voyage with the morningstar and be a part of this fresh enthusiastic, optimistic, flexible and creative group of minds. These millennials are going to help companies to find sustainable solutions.

All of this while being challenged by the ocean and all elements and forces that nature can possibly throw at them. Shanking loose all of those creative juices and breaking through all the boundaries in their minds. Making it possible for them to take a step further and think way out of the box to come up with these new groundbreaking solutions.


She told us all about their journey. 

About weeks and weeks on the open sea without any land or life in sight. About the storms, flying people, climbing the ropes, steering the weel, freshly baked bread.
About “no yogurt for breakfast” only to realize after two weeks that there WAS yogurt, but only on every other day. Exactly on the days she had the late-shift so she slept in on those days. About scrubbing the deck, and about the “Nightwatch”… No not the “game of thrones” kind, but maybe equally as scary and exiting so it seems. She writes in the logbook of the ship’s on the website:

“DAY 12, 10th of February 2019 – Atlantic Ocean

At the moment, the ship feels like a 10 day ride in the Villa Volta. We are currently sailing 11 knots, our course is 100 degrees, the waves are smashing over the deck, the swells are 5 meters high…
…I had the night shift from 12:00 till 04:00. I can’t say it was an easy watch, as the boat was surfing over the ocean due to the high waves. After learning how to sew, it was my time behind the steer. Right before the end of our watch, my attention levels were considerably lower compared to 4 hours before. Suddenly there was one big wave which turned be boat completely out of course! This resulted in a huge shift of the boat to portside. Suddenly the entire right side of the boat disappeared in a cloud of white foam and at the same time I saw David flying from Portside to starboard. Luckily I handled immediately and this boat is a rock, so everything was fine, but it was a once in a lifetime experience!”

Continue reading the complete day to day logs written by the crew on the website: https://www.clean2antarctica.nl/logbook

Here are some of the photo’s they took on their journey:

Photographic source: clean2antarctica.nl

Needless to say, we all captivated by all of these stories, listening to all of their adventures and funny stories of everything they faced along their journey. The girls were enchanted by the idea of stepping on one of these ships and sailing off to adventure and exploration and to be honest, I was too!

Of course, we are super proud of our niece and we are really curious of the sustainable groundbreaking concepts and solutions they are presenting the companies that are willing to make a change in this world!
Allso curriouse on their findings!? Keep an eye on their website: clean2antarctica.nl for news and updates!

These initiatives make us so hopefull. I really feel like these kinds of think-tanks are needed to come up with solutions that will change the world. The fact that companies are initiating, funding, stimulating, that they are OPEN and LISTENING to these new ideas is heartwarming and inspiring.

Offcourse our little family can just make a tiny little change in the whole climate story that will hardly be noticeable, but we do our share of sustainability as much as we can. Luckily we are not alone, there are a lot of conscious people out there making a change in their own way. If the rest of the world would join us and big companies would jump in, this little ripple we are making could turn in to a giant green wave! Maybe together we can save the world.

Are you working on making your life as sustainable as possible!?
What kind of changes, (small or big) did you make?

Love,
  Jolanda, Michiel,
Miley Haley & Quinn

Quest for change – We visited a sailship on a mission.

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VIDEO – Getting My MOM Tatoo

Baby name MOMMY Tattoo

I got my first tattoo a while back and I wrote a BLOGPOST about it!
Now I’ve also made a video of my experience. Check it out and don’t forget to subscribe on my YT channel!

So in this video, you will see me getting my first tattoo! 7 Years ago I came up with the idea of putting all my baby’s names on my forearm in one long stretched line. I’m not someone who gets a tattoo in an impulse, and Maybe we would get more kids in the future, and I wanted to include all of my baby’s names in it… I spend a long time designing a tattoo that was minimalistic and had exactly the look that I had in mind. Like practicing an autograph, The name tattoo design had to have the perfect flow and casual hand-drawn feel to it. 

So now 7 years later with 3 kids in total, I have my mom tattoo with all the names of my kids! It only took 20 minutes and didn’t hurt at all!
—-Miley—Haley—Quinn—  Just Perfect!
And The end result is exactly how I hoped it would be!

I really really love my first tattoo! Happy as can be, with my hand-drawn tattoo line design perfected over the past 7 years. Perfectly put on my arm by Manon from Le Nou Tattoo. 

So once more:  Thanks, Michiel for making the reservation and tanks mom for sponsoring half of it for my B-day! To my three baby girls, Miley, Haley & Quinn, I love you forever, just like this tattoo will be on my arm! 

Would you ever get a dad/  mommy tattoo, name tattoo or do you already have one!? What do you think of mine!? Let me know what you think in the comment section of the video here or on Youtube!

 

Love,
  Jolanda, Michiel,
Miley Haley & Quinn

Music in this video is by:
Meydän – https://soundcloud.com/meydansound/

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VIDEO – Getting My MOM Tatoo

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VLOG: June 2018 – sunshine and blackberries

Month VLOG june 2018 – Get ready for another monthly overview of 2018

This throwback monthly overview we look back at a month filled with sunshine and day’s in the garden. 

We are changing our vlog-concept for 2019.
So there will be a monthly overview for every month of 2018 but for 2019 we are doing it a bit diverently. I will tell you all about it at the end of this vlog!

 

Check a month in the live of our family and be sure to subscribe to be updated on all new uploaded video’s!

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VLOG: June 2018 – sunshine and blackberries

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