Middle child

Middle child

 

Je bent te klein om te doen wat je grote zus kan.
Te groot om dingen te doen waar je kleine zusje mee weg komt.
Je bent niet de grote zus.
Je bent niet de kleine zus.
Ergens daar tussenin zit je…

Maar in jouw ogen ben je een GROTE zus en een KLEINE zus in één.Eigenlijk. Je hebt alles!

Het is niet altijd gemakkelijk om het middelste kind te zijn. Maar toch, je staat vaak in het middelpunt van de belangstelling. Je glas is niet halfvol… het stroomt over! Ze zeggen vaak dat het middelste kind gemakkelijk vergeten wordt. Nou… laten we zeggen dat dat nooit zal gebeuren met onze Haley. Wacht maar af, ze zal het eisen. En lief kind… je verdient alle aandacht die je nodig hebt, mijn liefde.

Een sterke wil, avonturen, nieuwsgierig, assertief, slim, grappig, direct, sterk, eerlijk, observatief, en zo zo lief. Het lijkt erop dat jou andere twee zussen van een andere planeet kwamen, gesneden uit hetzelfde hout, hetzelfde temperament, hetzelfde basispatroon, maar jij kwam uit een heel eigen universum.

Er is geen saai moment met jou klein drakenmeisje. Je stopt nooit met bewegen, klimmen, reiken naar de meest gevaarlijke (en daarom meest interessante) objecten, stoelen op tafels en boeken opstapelen om hoger te komen, nooit bang en snel… oh wat ben je zo ongelooflijk snel. Ik knipper met mijn ogen en je loopt om een ​​hoek om, lachend, kijkend over je schouder om te zien of je wordt gevolgd. De vastberadenheid in alles wat jij doet. Ik geloof dat je alles zal kunnen bereiken waar je je zinnen op zet. Slim, lief, sterk, gepassioneerd, fel, athletisch, energiek, gek, explosief, grappig, stralend en mooi meisje van mama. Je zult zal opgemerkt worden.

Over dat spelletje dat we spelen, waar we allebei beweren meer van de ander te houden:
Mijn klein baby meisje, ik hou meer van je dan je ooit zou kunnen begrijpen! Misschien realiseer je je wanneer je op een dag zelf baby’s krijgt… Ik win… Ik hou VEEL meer van JOU! En dat hoort ook zo. 

Liefs,
Jolanda, Michiel
Miley, Haley & Quinn

Middle child

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Our Mindful Babycare routine +WIN a Babycare Sheepskin

Our Mindful Babycare routine +WIN a Babycare Sheepskin.

Clean, feed, sleep repeat
Clean, feed, sleep repeat
Clean, feed, sleep repeat

Day in, day out you get in this automated rhythm of taking care of your babe. And it’s basically the same every single time. Being a parent of a baby is hard. Especially that first year using. So going on survival mode and the whole taking care routine on autopilot
But sometimes the “autopilot mode” becomes the “normal”. A habit of just getting the job done and get it over with.

And then your baby starts acting out around those care rituals… Twisting and turning, trying to help you change the diaper grabbing all the dirty bits getting poop everywhere. Grabbing your face with their hands or kicking you with their feet for attention or maybe even try and turn to get away from you.

But put yourself in their place. Someone grabbing you and starts clothing you, changing and washing you while completely ignoring you as a person. No eye contact. Nothing. They are just getting it over with. Sorry, no one home. Not mom or dad. Autopilot has taken over.

Once in a while, I noticed it happened to us again. We’ve been overwhelmed and exhausted for a period, so we’ve slipped into this survival mode. And never came out. Usually, it hit me when my baby wasn’t working with me but making it impossible to get the job done. Acting out in all sorts of ways. Literally, shake me up and making me snap out of it.

Instead of shouting to my baby “keep still” or “stop that NOW” I would realize what was happening.
I am making her do this! It’s on me!
So the solution was always simple, and always the same:

1-make eye contact.
2-talk to them and include them in what you are doing.
3-sing to them.
4-tickle them.
5-cuddle them.
6-lots of kisses and attention.
7-take your time

And we’ve all been there.
Multiple times. This survival/autopilot mode is actually pretty handy for night changes or moments when you have trouble coping because your baby has been sick and keeping you awake or you are not feeling well or whatever. But after the crisis moments.. Get back in the moment and enjoy the precious one on one time with your little one.

MAKE EYE CONTACT, TALK TO YOUR BABY. TAKE YOUR TIME.

The Vachtenspecialist.nl send us a Babycare sheepskin for our little Quinn to chill on while we give her all the attention in the world.

So tell me… Do you catch yourself sometimes being an apathetic exhausted on-auto-mode operating parent sometimes?
How do you notice you’re out of it and how do you get yourself back in the moment?

 

Blog by: Jolanda Marti
Photography: Jolanda Marti & Michiel Fook

WIN a babycare sheepskin For mothersday!

Research has shown that babies who sleep on a sheepskin are less likely to have asthma.

In addition, sheepskins are not only for the cold winter months, they also have a cooling effect in the summer. Moisture is absorbed by the fur and air between the hairs acts as a natural air conditioner. In winter you stay pleasantly warm and in the summer nice and cool.

Another advantage of these coats is that they can be washed out. And the size is ideal for the crib or baby pen!

If you want to have the chance to win a Babycare sheepskin all you have to do is:

  • Follow: @wildandboho on Instagram
  • Follow: @vachtenspecialist on Instagram
  • Tag someone who would love to have one two in this in the comments of this Instagram post:

The winner will be revealed the 5th of Mei in my Instagram stories 

 

Our Mindful Babycare routine +WIN a Babycare Sheepskin

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Winter garden overview

Happy new year everyone!

We collected all Our garden adventures, routines, and preparation for winter and in wintertime. In the wintertime, our garden is in hibernation. We spent most of our time indoors.

Now that spring has come we shake up the ground and welcome all the new life that is bursting out of the garden! Wood is being chopped for all the campfires to come with the razor-sharp ax that Weltevree has send us ! 

The lawn is being taken care of with our brand new Hover mower we got send over from BLACK+DECKER and it’s awesome! 

Check out our full lawn care routine blogpost over here!

 We hope you enjoyed our vlog, when the summer begins we will make a new Garden overview regarding our spring and beginning of the summer season! Until then we will have a lot of other themed video’s coming up for you! See you next time!

Love,
  Jolanda, Michiel,
Miley Haley & Quinn

Winter garden overview

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Self-care tips for moms.

self-care guide for mothers

Yes, you are a mom.
Yes, you are a partner to your other half.
Yes, you are a career woman
Yes, you are the woman of the house…
But YOUR “ME” needs to be taken care of too. That girl without kids, without stress and so many balls in the air… She is still in there! And she needs your love and attention!

Most moms put their family’s health before their own.  And I am such a mom on occasion. Self-sacrifice is a natural parenting/mom thing that happens instinctively. But Putting Your Family ALLWAYS First at expense of yourself Doesn’t Make You a Better Mom. Actually… It will make you a tired, grumpy, exhausted and stressed mother if you neglect yourself for a longer period. 

We as moms (have to) take on so many tasks, so many roles, so many faces, so many responsibilities that we tend to bury ourselves in it and carry on way too long.

And we can take a lot. We are strong woman, and we can carry on for a long time. But we all have our limits. so before hitting a wall and end us completely exhausted and burned up. Maybe try and find, no, MAKE space for your needs. so you can be the best mom they deserve! A lot of the times the other partner/parent does succeed in taking care of themselves. And that’s wonderful! Take note. Now you!

Some misbelieves that may hold you down:

  • You are NOT selfish for taking care of your mental needs first once in a while.
  • The world won’t crash and burn if you leave others with some responsibilities for a few hours.
  • It does’n have to cost a lot of money.
  • It doesnt have to cost a lot of time.
  • Self-care is not an indulgence, its necessity to stay balanced!
  • You are not neglecting your kids or work. You are actually taking up the responsibility for your own helath!

What is self-care?
The better question is: What is self-care to YOU? All the little things you do that will take your stress away, give you a more emotionally balanced, centered feeling and generally makes you feel happier and give you a more positive outlook on life will count as Self-care.

What makes you happy that you do just for YOU!?
Take a pen and paper and write down what kind of little fun of relaxing activities you would like to do if you had no responsibilities or stress in the world? (maybe even think back to the time you didn’t have children) There is no right or wrong answer here. Are there little things that need to be resolved that are bugging you? make a list. write down what you need to do to take care of your needs.

For some that may be taking a long hot bath and read a book or listen to music.
For others It would be doing Sports, Yoga, painting, or meeting up with your friends and talk, going on a date with your partner, sauna, massage, swimming, writing in a journal, painting your nails! Or maybe all the above! Whatever you can think of that will make you happy, that will make you re-charge. That will get you to exhale for a few seconds and stop rushing.

For moms of tiny little babies making time for self-care will mean relaxing while having your baby near you but in the care of another person. That way you will be “able” to relax without feeling anxious about leaving your baby or checking your phone every 3 minutes.
Never let anyone tell you “you need to be away from your baby to relax” if you feel in your heart and stomach that you just don’t want to leave him/her.

 

It is hard to create space for self-care as a mom

How to find/create the time

  • The little things
    Small little routines like journaling before going to sleep or cooking a fresh meal in peace. Making up your bed every day.
  • Ask for help.
    What do you need to make it happen? A lot of the times someone will need to take care of the kids for a little while! Your partner will need to pitch in! The other parent in your family can hold the fort while you exhale for a couple of hours. For single parents (SO much respect) that will mean you will have to look for help elsewhere. Your Parents, friends, neighbors, parents of your kid’s friends, anyone you may trust and dare to ask for help! Please, people may surprise you! Lovely mama…Take a deep breath… and just. ask. for. help.
  • Reserve a date and time
    Block a space in your agenda for your self-care moment… now block the 2 hours before that time as a buffer. Better yet, plan at least one moment every week as me-time! It will become easier if this turns in to a little weekly/bi-weekly routine.
  • No Bailing on yourself!
    Take away your biggest stress factors, distractions & excuses to bail on yourself in advanced. Make sure that whatever happens. you will take time for yourself!
    Clear the road!
  • Pick it up again!
    And if you fail to take the time for yourself anyway… no worries! Don’t stress about it. That’s actually the very thing we want to prevent! Life happens. Kids can get sick, plans can change. I fail at it all the time! Whatever. The important thing to remember is… just pick it up again as soon as possible. Re-schedule. You deserve to be happy! And your family deserves a happy mom! You matter!

Set the right example!

Want the best for your kids… And how would you like your kids treating themselves as adults later in life!? Lead by example! By showing them that self-care is an important part of life and demonstrating that we all should help each other create space for individual needs they will learn how to take care of themselves and others in a balanced way later in life. And be happier people for it.

 

Love,
Jolanda, Michiel
Miley, Haley & Quinn

33 Self care inspiration list ideas

  1. Go to yoga class once a week
  2. Take 40 minutes every day to journal and reflect.
  3. Go and have lunch with your best friend!
  4. Take a hot long bath and read a book every week!
  5. Take a nap without an alarm clock
  6. take a walk through nature
  7. Craft something
  8. Go swim for fun
  9. Make art
  10. Sing and Dance like nobody is watching!
  11. Go online and learn a new skill using tutorials!
  12. Listen to a podcast
  13. Go to the gym
  14. De-clutter and re-organise your wardrobe or beauty products
  15. Unplug from social media for a day (or at least a few hours).
  16. Go to the spa
  17. Feeling overwhelmed? Create a plan to create order in the chaos! Start with all the small things so the list gets shorter. Then order the tasks from most-pressing to least-pressing.
  18. Pick flowers
  19. Bake something
  20. Cook something delicious 
  21. Learn 4-8-7 breathing
  22. do some mindfulness exersizes
  23. Write down your life goals and dreams and create an inspirational collage to hang on the toilet! (“toilet” a.k.a. safe space for moms…the only place you can run to for some peace and quiet when the kids are around)Get a massage.
  24. Go hiking, camping, or backpacking and spend some time in nature
  25. Go S.U.B-ing (stand up paddle)
  26. Go on a date with your partner
  27. Sleep in
  28. Do some gardening
  29. Take care of your houseplants.
  30. Restyle a room in the house! Change some pillows rugs, blankets, wallhangings and plants. A little bit of styling can make a big change! (search on Instagram or pintrest for inspiration)
  31. Meditate
  32. Spend 1 on 1 time with one of your kids for some quality time!
  33. Plann your next vacation!

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Self-care tips for moms.

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VLOG: June 2018 – sunshine and blackberries

Month VLOG june 2018 – Get ready for another monthly overview of 2018

This throwback monthly overview we look back at a month filled with sunshine and day’s in the garden. 

We are changing our vlog-concept for 2019.
So there will be a monthly overview for every month of 2018 but for 2019 we are doing it a bit diverently. I will tell you all about it at the end of this vlog!

 

Check a month in the live of our family and be sure to subscribe to be updated on all new uploaded video’s!

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VLOG: June 2018 – sunshine and blackberries

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