Throwback to my old model-portfolio!

Wayyyy back to the time when…

 

…I was studying and I did some modeling!

I studied Multi-Media Design and Audio Visual Design in Amsterdam, as well as the introduction year of the Art Academy (Rietveld Academie) to become a filmmaker. And on the side, I did some modeling.

I selected a couple of the photo’s from my old portfolio to share with you guys!
This is the 10 to 17 -year younger me.

If you already have a low self-image, don’t start with modeling.

It was exciting, and a lot of the time a harsh world. But it definitely made me more confident and let me have a more positive self-image. Because in modeling, there are lots of people judging you purely on your appearance. And, and  Maybe it sounds crazy, but to me when you hear someone say to you, “ah… you would be the perfect model if you would be taller and have a nose job” WTF It sounds so extremely over-the-top harsh and completely ridiculous, that it made me care less about what others think!

I had my two feet on the ground. I just felt that almost everyone in the business was just putting up an act of some-kind, fitting in, and most of the time extremely insecure and frustrated themselves. I could see through the charade, so it didn’t affect me at all.

Being a model means having to deal with lots of rejections, before getting a YES on a job.
And even though I could handle the people the comments and the attitudes, but the rejections were not much fun at all. But that made the chase only that much more fun, and a WIN that much sweeter!

Getting Inspired
Not everyone is horrible! All dough may look and sound that way, not everyone is horribly unstable and mean… Some of my best friends today are people I met in the field! There are lots of agencies, model colleagues, stylists, makeup and hair stylists, and other people on the set that are just amazingly talented, creative, nice and inspiring to be working with!

Modeling changed my life

Now looking back, this modeling totally formed me and led me to the place I am today.
At the end of the day, I did invest way more time and energy on castings, test shoots and portfolio viewings than I made money to compensate me for it. But I think I got something way more value out of it. The experiences along the road of my modeling career made me the person I am today.

These are the main  life lessons are the things I’ve learned along the way:

People knowledge. Recognizing someone who is insecure and therefore acting a bit tough, braggy and mean. And not feel threatened by it. It’s ok. We all have struggles I guess.
-SOMEONE will Always find you ugly! But someone will always find you beautiful! (Aside from the obvious fact that true beauty comes from within and all that… but we are talking modeling biz here, so we go no deeper than the outer layer here.)
-Not giving up. Yes, you grow a strong backbone by so much rejection, but success is only a matter of time!
Self-confidence, it has to come from within yourself, not by validation of others.
Learning on set, And last but not least: I think that having experience in standing in front of the camera definitely helped me in becoming a better photographer and filmmaker. The compositions, and base camera and lightning techniques of shooting images and production basics in the field.

Today

Sometimes once in a while, there are still little commercial gigs I do. Mostly I get typecast as “the mom” to do a shoot with one of my babies. But mostly we shoot our own stuff for our blog and Instagram for brands. So that’s a kind of commercial “lifestyle” modeling too I guess.

 

Did you know that:

– I am only 5.2 feet tall! (huge disadvantage for a model, I only did beauty, lifestyle, and commercial.

– Being highly emphatic made it easier to feel that all the superficial bitchyness was just an “attitude” and a charade, some sort of coping mechanism. Underneath it all they all where good people struggling with lots of insecurities. 

– As a model, you get to work and meet and be inspired by lots and lots of cool creative and very nice people too!!! 

– I look different through a lens… I may look better on camera than in real life I guess hahaha Once a photographer didn’t reckonize me, but looking through the lens of his camera he said: “aaaah YES now I see you!”  XD

– I started modeling when I was 15 years old, I got a lot less active at the age of 21 as I started my professional career as a Motion graphic designer and presenter for a dutch tv show (that’s a whole other story).

I treasure the pictures from all the shoots I did. So lovely to look back on!

– I never ever starved myself, Ate enough and didn’t over-exhausted myself with working out.

I never spend money on photoshoots or paying an agency! Especially the last one is a big NO they should invest in you if they believe in you.

-I did invest a LOT of time in my portfolio, Collaborating with lots of photographers, stylist, and makeup artists!

– I know nothing of how things in the modeling business are now in 2019.  This is my experience of 15 years ago.

-Most of these photos are in Tiny little resolution! So sad I don’t have the high-res files anymore! I think I’m going to contact the photographers, maybe I can still get them from their archives! (I really hope so!)

I never earned LOTS of money with it! I lived with my parents and went to school! This was just a fun side job. 

 

I guess I combined my skills from my education and my experience in modeling. So there you go! My experience in standing in Front of the camera started right here and led me right to where I am today.

Scroll all the way down to see more photo’s from my old portfolio!

 

Thanks for reading along and if you have any questions, ask me on my Instagram, because I live there hahaha:  https://www.instagram.com/wildandboho/ 

Love,
Jolanda Marti

Blogpost written by: Jolanda Marti

 


Photography in my portfolio selection on this page  is by:

-Nicole patricia malina
-Hanneke van Leeuwen
-Michel zoeter
-Rob l. roos
-Martin wieldraaijer

-Wouter keuris
-Jacomijn Lyppens
-Jan Stijnman
-Richard bakker
-Robert Hart

The copyright of these photos is from the photographer who created the photo.

Don’t copy, use or publish any of these photos without their explicit permission! Want to know more info about a photo, just ask me, I will direct you to the right photographer.

I’m so so grateful for these amazing artist I got to work with!

If I’m forgetting a name (and I am, but I can’t find the names anywhere anymore aaarggg it’s killing me!)
or if anny info is wrong, please please please let me know!!! I Will ad it to the list! I don’t remember everything from 15 years ago! I wish I did do…  Let me know by sending me an email or a dm in my insta!

Consciousness, Like mother like daughter +Twinning Lookbook

“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.”

~Audrey Hepburn

To have children is for me believing in tomorrow. Planting a garden with them and teaching them to treasure this planet is an essential part of the way we are raising our babies. We must protect what is left of nature and try and stabilize the unbalance we are creating as human beings.

Making as many conscious choices as you can possibly make in your unique situation.
From using las plastic and package materials to recycle your waste.
From buying your clothes at your local thrift shop to buying conscious fashion brands. From growing your own food to supporting local farmers.

Lead by example. Like mother like daughter…

Minimalizing our carbon footprint and sometimes spreading a handful of wildflower seeds on to a patch of dirt. To see it turn in to the most beautiful flower field in a few weeks time. The bees will thank you for it by keeping our fragile ecosystem stable. And our children will have a better chance of having a carefree future on this beautiful planet.

How do you contribute to the awareness of conscious decisions in your children? Maybe you have inspiring ideas I would love to hear!
Tell me in the comments on instagram!

Love,
Jolanda, Michiel
Miley, Haley & Quinn

    We love Bobo choses

    Bobo choses,  a Spanish brand has the most gorgeous collections of fair susnainable fashion.

    We are in love with their spring-summer collection “to plant a garden” and we feel like the spirit and attitude of the collection is capturing what we and a lot of parents around us are feeling. Let’s care for our kids, lets care for this planet. And let’s look awesome while doing it!

    Bob choses send us our matching mother-daughter jumpsuits and clogs! So much love for these fun and happy outfits!

    Lookbook TWINNING with Miley

    I went Twinzies with my big girl Miley!
    Spring is here so a perfect outfit to get out into the garden and enjoy the first rays of sunshine!

    We want to thank Bobo choses and Polette eyewear for our Mother and daughter twinning outfits! We are loving it!

      We love Polette

      Polette send me the same pair of glasses that we already had bought for my daughter. This way we can twin!

      Polette has beautiful frames and doesn’t pre-produce the frames. Every time someone orders a frame and lenses it is completely produced on demand. This way there is no wasteful overproduction of their collection.

      The frames and lenses are manufactured in their own factory in China by trained optical professionals.

      Their friendly priced prescription glasses are making quality glasses available for everyone. And in a household with 3 glasses-wairing individuals (from-wich 2 kids) we are really happy that with their frames we can afford it to get everyone the high-quality prescription-eyeglasses we need, without having to completely empty all our piggy-banks.

      SHOP the LOOK

      SHOP the LOOK

      Run wild my child

      Run wild my child

      We love to prepare a picknick basket and go out in the woods. Driving to the woods we are hearing all the “where are we going”-’s and “are we there yet”-’s and ” I don’t want to go to the wood”-’s of the world. Yes, our kids are like all the other kids in the world. But once we are there all of that is forgotten and off they go. Climbing trees collecting treasures and building castles.

      We hike for a bit. Find a nice place to lay down a plaid and our stuff as a “home-base”. Chilling and eating and playing around in the shade of the trees. We spot dears, hear the songs the birds are singing to us, the wind blowing through the trees and our wildling cubs howling to the beat of the forest.

      Little feet are making a wonderful crunchy sound as they touch the layered floor of the forest. Every step feels different, little sticks, rocks, bones, grass, and mosses are all hiding under a think mixed layer of old crispy and fresh soft fallen leaves. Making every step an exciting surprise. Walking on barefoot shoes is making our exploration feel natural to the touch and safe against rough undergrounds and sharp objects at the same time.

      All things we normally tend to worry about seeming small and insignificant. No to-do lists, bills to pay, work to do, places to be. Because this is all that matters, this is all we need. Each other and nature. This feels like freedom. Pure happiness.

      We are rich when we leave to go home. Our bounty: A scraped knee, two feathers, seven stones, four leaves, improved tree climbing skills, twelve-spotted dears, hundred stories, and five fully charged inspiration batteries.

      On our way back home our little Quinn falls asleep in the car, Haley is quietly looking out the window and Miley asking us ” this was fun! When can we go back!?”

      As soon as possible my little wildling.

      Love,
      Jolanda, Michiel
      Miley, Haley & Quinn

        We love Wildling shoes

         

         Wildling shoes geared our whole family up with their barefoot shoes and we are loving it! 

        The wonderful feeling of running and climbing barefoot through the forest while being safe against rough undergrounds and sharp objects is amazing! 

        Walking around barefoot or with barefoot schoe, wair doesn’t just feel great. It’s actually really healthy too! The reason why is very well explained here:
        1- In Duch by Linde Logtenberg on her Instagram here!
        2- or in this video by Teck Insider

        We want to thank our partner Wildling shoes  for supporting us and making it possible for us to keep producing our video’s, vlogs and blogs. It’s because of these kind partnerships we get to do what we love most:
        Being creative and sharing our stories and Images!

        People with buildup negativity are toxic, especially for empaths

        Sometimes you encounter someone who is harnessing a lot of negative emotions and when such a person gets the chance, they will unload their buildup emotional garbage on you.
        And well… that sucks.

        Key is not to let it get to you. Right… But that is easier said than done. I immediately tend to absorb all the emotions around me. All the time. There is no way of stopping it. My natural state is completely open. Highly sensitive to the feelings of people, picking up all emotions floating around. Everything gets in and hits me full force.

        So when someone unexpectedly opens fire on me and lashes out in a verbal and non-verbal (bodylanguage & Vibes) way, there is no hiding from it. No walls, no shields protecting me. Things don’t slide off… they stick on me. A clean transfer of complete feelings array from them to me takes place. I’m feeling everything they are going through! And It gets to me in a devastating way. It makes me retreat back into my bubble to restore for a while. Because it breaks me.

        But still, I’ll much rather be open, loving, honest and completely vunrebule than bitter and closed off blaming the world for my toxic negativity.

        Why are people dumping toxic emotional garbage on others?

        I feel as if people that are in such a bad place are looking for a safe outlet for their anger. And it’s like they can smell my defenselessness. Like they are looking for someone like me, they can easily put down and humiliate or lash out at. Someone to absorb their emotions. Someone without the threat of getting your ass kicked. Someone to blame all their problems on. Someone to be the villain in their story.

        Most of the time its people I’ve never met before. They don’t know me at all. And their reason to lash out is most of the time something negligible that is blown out of proportion. In the past, I’ve had multiple encounters. For example with (frustrated) people working in public transport that would lash out for me leaving a bag on the seat next to me or something minute like that. But in such a severe way that others around me jumped in to help me and afterward asking me if I was ok. (no, I was not) People attacking me “looking in their direction” and assuming I was judging them. (yes because of thats really the kind of person I am) Or people taking something I said the wrong way, twisting and turning my words because of their own assumptions.


        What does that to someone like me
        ?

        Being extremely sensitive to the emotions of others. Being really empathic, means these attacks are really double for me. It’s not nice to be attacked. But at the same time, I feel them. I get it! As soon as their switch goes to black, even before attacking me I feel the air getting thicker, my skin starts to tingle, and the hairs in my neck stand up, Goosebumps, my heart starts pounding and a pit in my stomach. Bracing myself. Oh shit, here it comes… 

        In the moment that happens my first reaction is to freeze. The second reaction is to second guess myself. And in an attempt to calm the other person down I tried to apologize for whatever they think I did to them. Trying to make it right. But guess what? It NEVER works. An apology is never ever accepted. You know why? They need you to be the bad guy. They need to be angry at someone. And they have chosen YOU! 

        All I’m saying is that no matter how hard you try in being nice and loving to everyone. Some people will come for you anyway.

        And all I can do is go back home, and say to myself: 

        “you tried your best
        it’s ok
        this feeling will fade

        you will be fine
        just keep on breathing
        hug your kids
        even when it doesn’t feel this way
        there is still so much
        beauty in the world
        open your heart “

        Knowing I will feel better somewhere in the next days, but that other person has to live with feeling this way all the time, is a heartbreaking thought on its own. Life must be terrible being them.

        A part of me immediately wants to dive in, reach out and try to “save” them from the terrible place there in. But as they probably have picked me as their villain in their story they probably won’t be open to help from me. And I need to step back and say to my self “it is not your place to save everyone in this world, Pick your battles. This one is for someone else.”

         

        Those people are a victim of their own state of mind, they obviously have issues to work through. Even do that person had it in for me. I’m not angry with them. There is no use in creating more anger and negativity. The negativity that eventually will build up and will need an outlet. Negativity that, if I’m not able to let it out in a gentle healthy way, there is a chance I will take it out on someone else. Making this a neverending stream of negative emotions being pushed on forward to the next and the next and the next person.

        I’m stopping the vicious circle right here by crying. By talking. By letting it out.
        By hugging my family. By accepting. By understanding. By healing. By daring to open up again.  Just feeling it all.

        I hope she or he feels better after lashing out. I hope she or he will find some healing for themselves and be a happier person.

        A few weeks ago I had an abrupt short confusing encounter with a really troubled person who poured all their anxiety, insecurities, anger and frustration on me. Leaving me sad and burned out. 3 days after I started to recover. It made me think, it inspired me to reflect and write on the subject in this blog post.
        These things happen to me two or three times a year since I can remember.

        So there must be other people that can relate to this right!?
        Am I the only one? Maybe IT IS ME!? Inviting this on myself? Attracting it!?
        Sometimes its so hard to stand up for myself and being assertive because of the fear for another attack or making things worse.
        I NEED YOUR INPUT So, what do you think?

        Should I stay this defenseless without doing anything about it? Because of its a pure, open, honest state of being. A thing of beauty. And It is who I am?

        OR

        Do I need to protect myself a bit more? Have more defense systems? Fight back? Create more boundaries?
        Preventing the emotional garbage of others from getting in?  Getting thicker skin?

        And if so… How to do so in a healthy way?
        Because I wouldn’t know where to start. I have always been this way. 

        Thinking about this issue and talking about it to my friends and family did gave me a better understanding of what is happening.
        Reflecting on it was allready a big help and a form of self-care on its own.

        Tell me your thoughts on the subject! I could use your input.

        Love,
        Jolanda,

        Self-care tips for moms.

        self-care guide for mothers

        Yes, you are a mom.
        Yes, you are a partner to your other half.
        Yes, you are a career woman
        Yes, you are the woman of the house…
        But YOUR “ME” needs to be taken care of too. That girl without kids, without stress and so many balls in the air… She is still in there! And she needs your love and attention!

        Most moms put their family’s health before their own.  And I am such a mom on occasion. Self-sacrifice is a natural parenting/mom thing that happens instinctively. But Putting Your Family ALLWAYS First at expense of yourself Doesn’t Make You a Better Mom. Actually… It will make you a tired, grumpy, exhausted and stressed mother if you neglect yourself for a longer period. 

        We as moms (have to) take on so many tasks, so many roles, so many faces, so many responsibilities that we tend to bury ourselves in it and carry on way too long.

        And we can take a lot. We are strong woman, and we can carry on for a long time. But we all have our limits. so before hitting a wall and end us completely exhausted and burned up. Maybe try and find, no, MAKE space for your needs. so you can be the best mom they deserve! A lot of the times the other partner/parent does succeed in taking care of themselves. And that’s wonderful! Take note. Now you!

        Some misbelieves that may hold you down:

        • You are NOT selfish for taking care of your mental needs first once in a while.
        • The world won’t crash and burn if you leave others with some responsibilities for a few hours.
        • It does’n have to cost a lot of money.
        • It doesnt have to cost a lot of time.
        • Self-care is not an indulgence, its necessity to stay balanced!
        • You are not neglecting your kids or work. You are actually taking up the responsibility for your own helath!

        What is self-care?
        The better question is: What is self-care to YOU? All the little things you do that will take your stress away, give you a more emotionally balanced, centered feeling and generally makes you feel happier and give you a more positive outlook on life will count as Self-care.

        What makes you happy that you do just for YOU!?
        Take a pen and paper and write down what kind of little fun of relaxing activities you would like to do if you had no responsibilities or stress in the world? (maybe even think back to the time you didn’t have children) There is no right or wrong answer here. Are there little things that need to be resolved that are bugging you? make a list. write down what you need to do to take care of your needs.

        For some that may be taking a long hot bath and read a book or listen to music.
        For others It would be doing Sports, Yoga, painting, or meeting up with your friends and talk, going on a date with your partner, sauna, massage, swimming, writing in a journal, painting your nails! Or maybe all the above! Whatever you can think of that will make you happy, that will make you re-charge. That will get you to exhale for a few seconds and stop rushing.

        For moms of tiny little babies making time for self-care will mean relaxing while having your baby near you but in the care of another person. That way you will be “able” to relax without feeling anxious about leaving your baby or checking your phone every 3 minutes.
        Never let anyone tell you “you need to be away from your baby to relax” if you feel in your heart and stomach that you just don’t want to leave him/her.

         

        It is hard to create space for self-care as a mom

        How to find/create the time

        • The little things
          Small little routines like journaling before going to sleep or cooking a fresh meal in peace. Making up your bed every day.
        • Ask for help.
          What do you need to make it happen? A lot of the times someone will need to take care of the kids for a little while! Your partner will need to pitch in! The other parent in your family can hold the fort while you exhale for a couple of hours. For single parents (SO much respect) that will mean you will have to look for help elsewhere. Your Parents, friends, neighbors, parents of your kid’s friends, anyone you may trust and dare to ask for help! Please, people may surprise you! Lovely mama…Take a deep breath… and just. ask. for. help.
        • Reserve a date and time
          Block a space in your agenda for your self-care moment… now block the 2 hours before that time as a buffer. Better yet, plan at least one moment every week as me-time! It will become easier if this turns in to a little weekly/bi-weekly routine.
        • No Bailing on yourself!
          Take away your biggest stress factors, distractions & excuses to bail on yourself in advanced. Make sure that whatever happens. you will take time for yourself!
          Clear the road!
        • Pick it up again!
          And if you fail to take the time for yourself anyway… no worries! Don’t stress about it. That’s actually the very thing we want to prevent! Life happens. Kids can get sick, plans can change. I fail at it all the time! Whatever. The important thing to remember is… just pick it up again as soon as possible. Re-schedule. You deserve to be happy! And your family deserves a happy mom! You matter!

        Set the right example!

        Want the best for your kids… And how would you like your kids treating themselves as adults later in life!? Lead by example! By showing them that self-care is an important part of life and demonstrating that we all should help each other create space for individual needs they will learn how to take care of themselves and others in a balanced way later in life. And be happier people for it.

         

        Love,
        Jolanda, Michiel
        Miley, Haley & Quinn

        33 Self care inspiration list ideas

        1. Go to yoga class once a week
        2. Take 40 minutes every day to journal and reflect.
        3. Go and have lunch with your best friend!
        4. Take a hot long bath and read a book every week!
        5. Take a nap without an alarm clock
        6. take a walk through nature
        7. Craft something
        8. Go swim for fun
        9. Make art
        10. Sing and Dance like nobody is watching!
        11. Go online and learn a new skill using tutorials!
        12. Listen to a podcast
        13. Go to the gym
        14. De-clutter and re-organise your wardrobe or beauty products
        15. Unplug from social media for a day (or at least a few hours).
        16. Go to the spa
        17. Feeling overwhelmed? Create a plan to create order in the chaos! Start with all the small things so the list gets shorter. Then order the tasks from most-pressing to least-pressing.
        18. Pick flowers
        19. Bake something
        20. Cook something delicious 
        21. Learn 4-8-7 breathing
        22. do some mindfulness exersizes
        23. Write down your life goals and dreams and create an inspirational collage to hang on the toilet! (“toilet” a.k.a. safe space for moms…the only place you can run to for some peace and quiet when the kids are around)Get a massage.
        24. Go hiking, camping, or backpacking and spend some time in nature
        25. Go S.U.B-ing (stand up paddle)
        26. Go on a date with your partner
        27. Sleep in
        28. Do some gardening
        29. Take care of your houseplants.
        30. Restyle a room in the house! Change some pillows rugs, blankets, wallhangings and plants. A little bit of styling can make a big change! (search on Instagram or pintrest for inspiration)
        31. Meditate
        32. Spend 1 on 1 time with one of your kids for some quality time!
        33. Plann your next vacation!

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