Middle child

Middle child

 

Je bent te klein om te doen wat je grote zus kan.
Te groot om dingen te doen waar je kleine zusje mee weg komt.
Je bent niet de grote zus.
Je bent niet de kleine zus.
Ergens daar tussenin zit je…

Maar in jouw ogen ben je een GROTE zus en een KLEINE zus in één.Eigenlijk. Je hebt alles!

Het is niet altijd gemakkelijk om het middelste kind te zijn. Maar toch, je staat vaak in het middelpunt van de belangstelling. Je glas is niet halfvol… het stroomt over! Ze zeggen vaak dat het middelste kind gemakkelijk vergeten wordt. Nou… laten we zeggen dat dat nooit zal gebeuren met onze Haley. Wacht maar af, ze zal het eisen. En lief kind… je verdient alle aandacht die je nodig hebt, mijn liefde.

Een sterke wil, avonturen, nieuwsgierig, assertief, slim, grappig, direct, sterk, eerlijk, observatief, en zo zo lief. Het lijkt erop dat jou andere twee zussen van een andere planeet kwamen, gesneden uit hetzelfde hout, hetzelfde temperament, hetzelfde basispatroon, maar jij kwam uit een heel eigen universum.

Er is geen saai moment met jou klein drakenmeisje. Je stopt nooit met bewegen, klimmen, reiken naar de meest gevaarlijke (en daarom meest interessante) objecten, stoelen op tafels en boeken opstapelen om hoger te komen, nooit bang en snel… oh wat ben je zo ongelooflijk snel. Ik knipper met mijn ogen en je loopt om een ​​hoek om, lachend, kijkend over je schouder om te zien of je wordt gevolgd. De vastberadenheid in alles wat jij doet. Ik geloof dat je alles zal kunnen bereiken waar je je zinnen op zet. Slim, lief, sterk, gepassioneerd, fel, athletisch, energiek, gek, explosief, grappig, stralend en mooi meisje van mama. Je zult zal opgemerkt worden.

Over dat spelletje dat we spelen, waar we allebei beweren meer van de ander te houden:
Mijn klein baby meisje, ik hou meer van je dan je ooit zou kunnen begrijpen! Misschien realiseer je je wanneer je op een dag zelf baby’s krijgt… Ik win… Ik hou VEEL meer van JOU! En dat hoort ook zo. 

Liefs,
Jolanda, Michiel
Miley, Haley & Quinn

Middle child

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Consciousness, Like mother like daughter +Twinning Lookbook

“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.”

~Audrey Hepburn

To have children is for me believing in tomorrow. Planting a garden with them and teaching them to treasure this planet is an essential part of the way we are raising our babies. We must protect what is left of nature and try and stabilize the unbalance we are creating as human beings.

Making as many conscious choices as you can possibly make in your unique situation.
From using las plastic and package materials to recycle your waste.
From buying your clothes at your local thrift shop to buying conscious fashion brands. From growing your own food to supporting local farmers.

Lead by example. Like mother like daughter…

Minimalizing our carbon footprint and sometimes spreading a handful of wildflower seeds on to a patch of dirt. To see it turn in to the most beautiful flower field in a few weeks time. The bees will thank you for it by keeping our fragile ecosystem stable. And our children will have a better chance of having a carefree future on this beautiful planet.

How do you contribute to the awareness of conscious decisions in your children? Maybe you have inspiring ideas I would love to hear!
Tell me in the comments on instagram!

Love,
Jolanda, Michiel
Miley, Haley & Quinn

    We love Bobo choses

    Bobo choses,  a Spanish brand has the most gorgeous collections of fair susnainable fashion.

    We are in love with their spring-summer collection “to plant a garden” and we feel like the spirit and attitude of the collection is capturing what we and a lot of parents around us are feeling. Let’s care for our kids, lets care for this planet. And let’s look awesome while doing it!

    Bob choses send us our matching mother-daughter jumpsuits and clogs! So much love for these fun and happy outfits!

    Lookbook TWINNING with Miley

    I went Twinzies with my big girl Miley!
    Spring is here so a perfect outfit to get out into the garden and enjoy the first rays of sunshine!

    We want to thank Bobo choses and Polette eyewear for our Mother and daughter twinning outfits! We are loving it!

      We love Polette

      Polette send me the same pair of glasses that we already had bought for my daughter. This way we can twin!

      Polette has beautiful frames and doesn’t pre-produce the frames. Every time someone orders a frame and lenses it is completely produced on demand. This way there is no wasteful overproduction of their collection.

      The frames and lenses are manufactured in their own factory in China by trained optical professionals.

      Their friendly priced prescription glasses are making quality glasses available for everyone. And in a household with 3 glasses-wairing individuals (from-wich 2 kids) we are really happy that with their frames we can afford it to get everyone the high-quality prescription-eyeglasses we need, without having to completely empty all our piggy-banks.

      SHOP the LOOK

      SHOP the LOOK

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      Consciousness, Like mother like daughter +Twinning Lookbook

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      Happy Midsummer!

      Woohoo, summer is here and we are feeling energized and inspired.

      This weekend was the summer solstice and we are feeling it in our bones! Summer is coming and we can’t wait to hit the road!
      All the Preparations for our big summer trip are totally happening right now!

      I took all the summer clothing from the back of the closet to the front! Re-discovering all my summer favorites.
      The only thing that was lacking was a fresh pair of summer loving specs. This will be the first summer for me with glasses.
      So Polette geared me up with some groovy round frames that makes me feel like I’m back in the ’60s. No wonder this model is called “rewind”.
      Loving it!!!

      Suddenly the kids are feeling “done” with the school. Aldou they LOVE to go to school, they want to stay at home now, “no more school mom!” I know babe… just a couple of weeks and we are free to go!

      We are also still editing a few weddings from our wedding photography, but other than that we are buzzily prepping the van, making a checklist for all the things we want to bring with us, but more important deciding what things NOT to bring with us. Our tiny little van hasn’t much space, so we are taking the BARE minimum with us!

      Also thinking of a way to make the journey and the whole “where are we” story clear for our kids on the way… So I started designing a custom “kids activity book/ travel diary” for them on this trip. With games, logs, and maps to get an understanding of where we are in the world and what to expect along the line of our journey.

      So! Enjoy the weather, and remember to take the time to stop… feel…hear….see…breathe…stretch…and smell the roses!

      Love,
      Jolanda

      SHOP the LOOK

      Happy Midsummer!

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      Living with Syndrome of Raynaud

      Afraid of what might happen

       

      Coping Syndrome of Raynaud and tips on preventing an episode.

      Whenever the temperatures get low. I will start wrapping myself in.
      Whenever I step into a place that has air conditioning on, I shrink in.

      Whenever there is a brisk breeze… I cover my ears.
      Whenever I feel overwhelmed and tired, I wrap myself in a blanket to keep warm.

      Afraid of what might happen. Afraid of my fingers, my toes, my ears, and my face turning in to numb white-yellow paralyzed lumps. Losing all fine-motor skills and not being able to move those areas of my body. The area’s around the temporarily affected body parts feel cramped. And it hurts. When I return into space with a stable temperature and something warm to start up my blood flow again the color and life starts to flow back into my feet again.

      “I remember when I was a small child I would try and hide in the classroom”

      I practically never talk about this to anyone. because it’s not a big deal to me. For me, it’s the most normal thing in the world. I remember when I was a small child I would try and hide in the classroom, trying to skip play-time in the schoolyard. I preferred to stay inside in winter time. I preferred to not go through the whole process of another episode again and again.

      The only other person who had the same reaction to the cold is one of my best friends. And she told me she had googled it and that it might be Syndrome of Raynaud.
      I thought, Nah, what are the odds of us both having this same thing. I probably just get cold easily and am “being a pussy about it” (such a Dutch way of thinking). So I never dug into it.

      Years later I talked to my yoga teacher Ingvild at Yogaways about it. The topic came up because I tend to get really cold feet and lose all feeling and sense in my toes during yoga (which is something you do barefoot) Especially while doing yoga outside and it’s not a shimmering 25°C outside (or there is a cold breeze). She told me it sounded like Syndrome of Raynaud.

      “But I realized this was a thing to be reckoned with. Ignoring it could turn out devastating.”

      Ok. This was the second time someone pointed this out to me, so I thought it was time for some research. WOW! The pictures of white and yellow fingers and toes I found online were spot on what I was experiencing. The pictures of the black and blue limbs scared me a bit. I never let it go that far! Like, What the hell, the white stage was painful enough, and I always got my blood flow back before something like that could ever happen. But I realized this was a thing to be reckoned with. Ignoring it could turn out devastating.

      Overall there is no real cure. But there are some things I do that will prevent me from having another big attack on my limbs.

       

      Advice for dealing with Syndrome of Raynaud

       

      1. – Hot/cold – Training the veins and gaining flexibility there is making the attacks less heavy and makes recovery after an attack faster.
        Taking hot/cold showers, or going to the sauna is a well-controlled way to train the fine fains in your limbs.
        .
      2. – Protect yourself! – If it’s temperature and the thing that triggers an attack: Protect your hands, feet and face/ears before going into situations where you just KNOW you could have another episode.
        I also notice that whenever I’m tired or emotional or overwhelmed it tends to happen! So finding rest and nesting on the couch or the bed with a blanket when needed is key! And when an episode is triggered as an emotional or after a scare, It’s important to retrieve yourself. Get your heartbeat and adrenaline levels down. Drink some tea, move and warm up the affected areas gently. And try to distract yourself by reading, watching Netflix or talk to someone.
        .
      3. – Health! – Having a good healthy body will help you battle this, and will make the outbursts less extreme and less frequent. In short… It’s a veins problem. So obviously your overall health has a big influence on it. These things seem obvious (to me) but I’m going to sum them up anyway:
        -Do not smoke (This one is very important)
        -Eat plenty of deep green veggies
        -Move your body! Run, climb, swim, do yoga, fitness, whatever you like! As long as you get off that couch!
        -Get enough sleep
        -And be mindful! Do whatever you need to take your stress levels down!

       

      I really hope that this might help some of you that may have these symptoms and maybe never realized what it was. And for everyone else: This is a thing, It’s not a huge thing, its not life-threatening, but it is something I have to live with. If you ever see me suddenly walk away when its cold, or stepping inside the hallway of school while everyone is standing outside in the cold, or waiting in the car instead of stepping out, I’m not being impolite, selfish or a pussy… I’m preventing an attack on my limbs. 😉 Not all conditions are visible.

      Do you know anyone that feels pain or gets paralyzed limbs with a sudden change of temperatures or cold?

      Blog by: Jolanda Marti
      Photography: Michiel Fook

      Wikipedia on Raynaud syndrome

      Raynaud syndrome, also known as Raynaud’s phenomenon, is a medical condition in which spasm of arteries cause episodes of reduced blood flow.

      Typically, the fingers, and less commonly the toes, are involved. Rarely, the nose, ears, or lips are affected. The episodes result in the affected part turning white and then blue.  Often, numbness or pain occurs. As blood flow returns, the area turns red and burns.

      The episodes typically last minutes, but can last several hours. Read more…

      Yoga and Syndrome of Raynaud

      One of the things I recently started doing is wearing these barefoot shoes while doing yoga whenever  the temperature is too cold. Wildling shoes geared our whole family up with their barefoot shoes and gave me these for my yoga practice!


      Just perfect for preventing getting cold feet during my yoga practice and still give be the next best thing after real bare-foot yoga. Because of the freedom my feet and toes have in these shoes, I am able to protect myself from the cold and still feel like being barefoot. The top of the shoe is smooth which allows me to glide, while the thin and flexible sole gives me a lot of grip on the ground and prevents me from slipping! It works better than I ever could have hoped for! So grateful for this solution!

      So for everyone doing yoga on rough terrain or who get cold feet and maybe get cramps or has Syndrome of Raynaud like me!? These Barefoot shoes are a really good solution!

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      Living with Syndrome of Raynaud

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      Self-care tips for moms.

      self-care guide for mothers

      Yes, you are a mom.
      Yes, you are a partner to your other half.
      Yes, you are a career woman
      Yes, you are the woman of the house…
      But YOUR “ME” needs to be taken care of too. That girl without kids, without stress and so many balls in the air… She is still in there! And she needs your love and attention!

      Most moms put their family’s health before their own.  And I am such a mom on occasion. Self-sacrifice is a natural parenting/mom thing that happens instinctively. But Putting Your Family ALLWAYS First at expense of yourself Doesn’t Make You a Better Mom. Actually… It will make you a tired, grumpy, exhausted and stressed mother if you neglect yourself for a longer period. 

      We as moms (have to) take on so many tasks, so many roles, so many faces, so many responsibilities that we tend to bury ourselves in it and carry on way too long.

      And we can take a lot. We are strong woman, and we can carry on for a long time. But we all have our limits. so before hitting a wall and end us completely exhausted and burned up. Maybe try and find, no, MAKE space for your needs. so you can be the best mom they deserve! A lot of the times the other partner/parent does succeed in taking care of themselves. And that’s wonderful! Take note. Now you!

      Some misbelieves that may hold you down:

      • You are NOT selfish for taking care of your mental needs first once in a while.
      • The world won’t crash and burn if you leave others with some responsibilities for a few hours.
      • It does’n have to cost a lot of money.
      • It doesnt have to cost a lot of time.
      • Self-care is not an indulgence, its necessity to stay balanced!
      • You are not neglecting your kids or work. You are actually taking up the responsibility for your own helath!

      What is self-care?
      The better question is: What is self-care to YOU? All the little things you do that will take your stress away, give you a more emotionally balanced, centered feeling and generally makes you feel happier and give you a more positive outlook on life will count as Self-care.

      What makes you happy that you do just for YOU!?
      Take a pen and paper and write down what kind of little fun of relaxing activities you would like to do if you had no responsibilities or stress in the world? (maybe even think back to the time you didn’t have children) There is no right or wrong answer here. Are there little things that need to be resolved that are bugging you? make a list. write down what you need to do to take care of your needs.

      For some that may be taking a long hot bath and read a book or listen to music.
      For others It would be doing Sports, Yoga, painting, or meeting up with your friends and talk, going on a date with your partner, sauna, massage, swimming, writing in a journal, painting your nails! Or maybe all the above! Whatever you can think of that will make you happy, that will make you re-charge. That will get you to exhale for a few seconds and stop rushing.

      For moms of tiny little babies making time for self-care will mean relaxing while having your baby near you but in the care of another person. That way you will be “able” to relax without feeling anxious about leaving your baby or checking your phone every 3 minutes.
      Never let anyone tell you “you need to be away from your baby to relax” if you feel in your heart and stomach that you just don’t want to leave him/her.

       

      It is hard to create space for self-care as a mom

      How to find/create the time

      • The little things
        Small little routines like journaling before going to sleep or cooking a fresh meal in peace. Making up your bed every day.
      • Ask for help.
        What do you need to make it happen? A lot of the times someone will need to take care of the kids for a little while! Your partner will need to pitch in! The other parent in your family can hold the fort while you exhale for a couple of hours. For single parents (SO much respect) that will mean you will have to look for help elsewhere. Your Parents, friends, neighbors, parents of your kid’s friends, anyone you may trust and dare to ask for help! Please, people may surprise you! Lovely mama…Take a deep breath… and just. ask. for. help.
      • Reserve a date and time
        Block a space in your agenda for your self-care moment… now block the 2 hours before that time as a buffer. Better yet, plan at least one moment every week as me-time! It will become easier if this turns in to a little weekly/bi-weekly routine.
      • No Bailing on yourself!
        Take away your biggest stress factors, distractions & excuses to bail on yourself in advanced. Make sure that whatever happens. you will take time for yourself!
        Clear the road!
      • Pick it up again!
        And if you fail to take the time for yourself anyway… no worries! Don’t stress about it. That’s actually the very thing we want to prevent! Life happens. Kids can get sick, plans can change. I fail at it all the time! Whatever. The important thing to remember is… just pick it up again as soon as possible. Re-schedule. You deserve to be happy! And your family deserves a happy mom! You matter!

      Set the right example!

      Want the best for your kids… And how would you like your kids treating themselves as adults later in life!? Lead by example! By showing them that self-care is an important part of life and demonstrating that we all should help each other create space for individual needs they will learn how to take care of themselves and others in a balanced way later in life. And be happier people for it.

       

      Love,
      Jolanda, Michiel
      Miley, Haley & Quinn

      33 Self care inspiration list ideas

      1. Go to yoga class once a week
      2. Take 40 minutes every day to journal and reflect.
      3. Go and have lunch with your best friend!
      4. Take a hot long bath and read a book every week!
      5. Take a nap without an alarm clock
      6. take a walk through nature
      7. Craft something
      8. Go swim for fun
      9. Make art
      10. Sing and Dance like nobody is watching!
      11. Go online and learn a new skill using tutorials!
      12. Listen to a podcast
      13. Go to the gym
      14. De-clutter and re-organise your wardrobe or beauty products
      15. Unplug from social media for a day (or at least a few hours).
      16. Go to the spa
      17. Feeling overwhelmed? Create a plan to create order in the chaos! Start with all the small things so the list gets shorter. Then order the tasks from most-pressing to least-pressing.
      18. Pick flowers
      19. Bake something
      20. Cook something delicious 
      21. Learn 4-8-7 breathing
      22. do some mindfulness exersizes
      23. Write down your life goals and dreams and create an inspirational collage to hang on the toilet! (“toilet” a.k.a. safe space for moms…the only place you can run to for some peace and quiet when the kids are around)Get a massage.
      24. Go hiking, camping, or backpacking and spend some time in nature
      25. Go S.U.B-ing (stand up paddle)
      26. Go on a date with your partner
      27. Sleep in
      28. Do some gardening
      29. Take care of your houseplants.
      30. Restyle a room in the house! Change some pillows rugs, blankets, wallhangings and plants. A little bit of styling can make a big change! (search on Instagram or pintrest for inspiration)
      31. Meditate
      32. Spend 1 on 1 time with one of your kids for some quality time!
      33. Plann your next vacation!

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      Self-care tips for moms.

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